


You Are the Worst, Burr (Discontinued)

by Hubris_BNL



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Aaron Burr: doesn't want this attention, Alexander Hamilton: worried puppy child, Gen, Herc: mom friend, Hurt/Comfort, I just want Aaron to be happy, James Madison: adopted Aaron as 9th sibling, John Laurens: defender of the Burr, Lafayette: the tol to aaron's smol, Modern AU, Thomas Jefferson: cares more than you'd think, and to have friends, lots of friendship!!!, with a heaping helping of humor/fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-05-29 18:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6387283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hubris_BNL/pseuds/Hubris_BNL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron never really thought that he had "friends." Sure he had work associates, people he went out for drinks with every now and again, but had never really gone for the idea. And that was fine, he was satisfied being solitary...well mostly satisfied. That is until he became a near victim of foul play and then <em>where'd all these people come from!?</em></p><p>Or when it takes getting shot for Aaron Burr to realize that yes, people do care about him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Trouble with Alleyways

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning, slight mention of past physical abuse. Just in case.

It was a cold night in New York City, though it was winter so of course it was cold. Snow fell gently, the flakes illuminated by the light of the streetlamps. Aaron Burr walked stiffly, hands in his pockets, and shoulders rigid, but contrary to his posture, there was a gentle smile on his face. He was heading back to his apartment after a long day at work, having left his office tired and sore, but had immediately brightened when he saw the snow falling outside.

There were very few things which made Aaron Burr outwardly smile, and snow was one of them. Ever since he was young, he'd loved the sight of the falling snow, he'd watch it from his bedroom window, praying that it was enough to close school for the day. That was before his parent's accident, before he began to relish work and studying, anything to fill the void they had left.

But his love for winter hadn't changed, honestly it was one of the few things in him that had stayed the same. Though he now had new reasons for liking the season. It was cold, not many people walked the streets at night, and if there was one thing Aaron Burr liked more than winter, it was being solitary, or so he tried to convince himself. He pulled his scarf up over the bottom half of his face, curling his hands into fists in his pockets. Yes, being alone was what Aaron was good at, comfortable with and he never stepped out of his comfort zone.

That is, until he heard the shouts to his right.

Stopping on the sidewalk, Aaron furrowed his brow, straining his ears for the noise. Again, the sound of angry yelling was coming from just up ahead. It was at this point when Aaron had two choices, one: turn around and take the long way home, avoiding what could be a potentially terrible situation, or two: keep going forward, see what the shouting was about, maybe someone was hurt and he could help. Now normally this would be a pretty simple decision, he would turn around and not get involved in whatever the hell was going on up ahead. But for some reason, tonight he told himself to keep going.

Above him, a streetlight flickered and Aaron shivered with the cold. The wind was biting, the snowflakes falling on his eyelashes and he blinked rapidly to get them off. Another shout sounded ahead, but it seemed much closer now. Aaron swallowed nervously, wondering why he didn't turn around and leave it. But then he heard the cry of a woman, it sounded afraid and before he knew it, Aaron was racing down the street, skidding to a stop in front of an alleyway.

"Please let me go!"

A woman was being pinned against a wall, three large, muscular men around her as she shrieked for help. Aaron breathed deeply as he watched, unsure of how to proceed. Had it been Hamilton in this situation, he'd have had no trouble simply attacking the men, and breaking multiple bones for his trouble. Aaron didn't exactly feel like going to the hospital that night, so he decided to do it _his_ way. That is, incredibly diplomatically.

He cleared his throat.

"Gentlemen." he tried to keep his voice steady as he stepped into the alleyway. He thumbed his phone in his pocket, ready to call 911 if all this went south, which he knew, deep down, it most likely would.

The three men snapped to attention, turning to face him. Aaron felt cold as he looked at them, their pupils blown wide and faces bloody. His own eyes widened at the sight of the gun in one of the men's hands. What the hell had he gotten himself into. The girl whimpered quietly, only silenced by a slap across her face. Aaron coughed nervously, slowly taking his hands out of his pockets, in the view of the men.

"Who're you?" one man asked, his voice rough.

_In for a penny, in for a pound,_ Aaron thought. "I'm here to take this girl home."

The laughter which shook through the three men frightened Aaron, he'd admit it. But he wasn't about to leave without the girl. So he took a step forward.

_**BANG** _

He froze, the gunshot ringing through the alleyway. His eyes lowered slightly to the bullet hole in the concrete right next to his shoe. He swallowed anxiously.

"One more step, buddy, and the next one goes in your chest." the man's voice was very calm, even a bit amused.

"Listen," Aaron began, his voice shaking, "just let me take her home. She won't press charges and neither will I."

He looked over at the girl, who nodded profusely. The men turned to look at her and then back at Aaron, smiling.

"Oh neither of you are gonna be talkin' to anybody, because," he cocked the gun, pointing it at Aaron, " _you'll_ be dead," he turned back to the girl, "and so will you."

"Listen," Aaron began again, his hand moving towards his pocket for his phone, "there's no need-"

**_"GET YOUR HANDS UP!"_ **

"Alright," he said quietly, submissively, taking his hands away from his jacket. "I just-"

All of a sudden, a truck horn sounded right behind him, making Aaron jump forward slightly in shock.

_**BANG** _

And then he froze. And there was silence. Aaron's mind stopped working, his legs giving out beneath him and he was kneeling on the concrete. He looked down at himself, noticing the red which soaked through his white shirt. That was gonna stain. The voices of the men drifted over him.

"Holy shit, you shot him."

"C'mon, we gotta get out of here."

"What about her?"

"Leave her, lets go."

He could hear footsteps running past him and a voice in his ear.

"Shouldn't have gotten involved, pretty boy."

Aaron made a noise like a gasp, but it was rough and blood trickled from his lips. It was now just him and the girl in the alley, until he noticed that she had gone as well. _Alone again,_ Aaron thought, but it was okay, he didn't mind. Honest. He barely noticed himself falling forward, or his head cracking against the pavement. He was already unconscious when the sound of sirens shrieked down the street.


	2. Passing In and Out

Darkness.

That was the first thing Aaron registered. Well actually the first thing he registered was the fact that he wasn't dead. Noises drifted gently over him, reassuring him of his living state, even though he couldn't understand a word of what was said. There was actually quite a bit being said, a lot of voices above him, some shouting, talking in his ear, not that he could respond at all. But that was fine. It was nice to know that he was alive at least.

Darkness.

When he came to again, there was a lot less noise, save for the continuous beeping of the heart monitor at his side. He felt himself becoming more grounded, less like he was floating, and he became aware that he was lying on a bed, but his eyes still refused to open. He tried to move his hand. There was a shout. 

Darkness.

This was getting irritating. His mind was barely registering what was happening around him and he was unable to open his eyes. He felt like shit and the one thing he _was_ aware of loud and clear was the searing pain in his abdomen. The beeping of the heart monitor continued, and there was a low buzzing of voices around him, quieter than the first time, more leisurely, but he still couldn't make out any words. There was something warm on his arm, a pressure that hadn't been there before. He attempted to move his arm, to see what would happen. Another shout.

Darkness.

Light.

Blinding light that is. Why did they paint hospital rooms white and then have the blinds open? Didn't they realize it wasn't as welcoming to half-dead patients as they thought? These thoughts rushed through Aaron's head, along with half a dozen others, all along the lines of _why aren't I dead right now?_ He decided that being able to open his eyes wasn't worth being blinded, and was just about to drift back into unconsciousness when something blocked the light.

"Aaron!"

It was the first thing he'd been able to understand since he first regained consciousness, and he jumped, startled at the loud shout. Of course, jumping wasn't the best thing for him, what with a gunshot wound, and he cried out in pain. 

"Shitshitshit what'd I do, oh my god!"

"Alex, what'd you do, man!?"

Aaron was slightly aware of a pair of hands flying around him, not touching him but more flapping around in some sort of frenzy. His side burned and he bit his lip to keep from screaming. 

"Oh crap, you're lip is bleeding!"

"Dancing around him won't help, go grab a doctor!"

Aaron heard footsteps racing out of the room, followed by a:

"DOCTOR HOLY SHIT MY FRIEND IS DYING!"

Another moment and he was being pushed up into a sitting position. This time he did scream, but then his eyes opened wide, the feeling of a needle in his lower back. Before he lost consciousness again, he could have sworn he saw Alexander Hamilton leaning over the end of his bed, worry etched onto his face.

But when he opened his eyes again, there was no one there. Aaron sighed, squinting against the white light of the hospital room, and took a moment to look at his surroundings. He was, for sure, in a hospital, complete with flowers on the bedside table, and rhythmically beeping heart monitor. Aaron figured he must still be drugged up because he couldn't feel any pain in his side. He lifted one arm, looked at it with extreme scrutiny, and then put it back down. He did it again with his other arm, almost like he was calibrating himself. He was slow, his mind fogged over somewhat, but he was okay. 

Then he heard a scuffling outside his door. He turned his head slowly, blinked once, twice, and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. There was a face watching him from the small window in the door. Well, half a face, only the top half. Whoever it was obviously wasn't tall enough to reach fully.  The half face looked startled at being noticed and disappeared, leaving Aaron incredibly worried that it might have been some mental patient watching him, just lying in wait.  

Pushing the thought from his mind, Aaron moved to sit up in his bed, but just as he began to, the face reappeared in the window, followed by the door being practically blown off its hinges and someone racing up to his bed.

It was Alexander Hamilton, _even better than a homicidal mental patient._

"Herc, he's trying to get up!" Hamilton shouted over his shoulder. Aaron noticed he had his hands up in a _don't shoot me_ stance.

"No touching!" came a voice from the hallway, and in entered Hercules Mulligan, followed by John Laurens and Lafayette.

"I'm not!" Alex made a point of showing his raised hands to his friends as they entered, but he was still quite close to the bed and Aaron shifted away. 

This drew all their attention back to Aaron, who froze as their eyes snapped towards him. In half a second, Lafayette was next to him on the left, Laurens was crouched, peering up at him from beside the frenchman, and Herc stayed at the foot of his bed, each of them staring down at him with a confusing amount of worry.

"How do you feel Aaron?" Hercules asked first.

Aaron went to speak, ask what they were all doing here, but nothing came out, except what sounded like a strained squeak and he shut his mouth quickly, looking down at his hands. It was quiet for another moment, until John piped up.

"I can't believe you got shot, that's so badass!"

Lafayette swatted him across the head. Aaron grimaced and turned to face away from them, but was met with Hamilton, now extremely too close for Aaron's comfort. His eyes are darting across Aaron's face and the wounded man makes a noise from the back of his throat. He supposes it has the desired effect because Alex jumps back, hands up again.

"What happened?" It was Hercules speaking again, his voice was gentle and deep, not demanding, simply curious with a hint of anxiety. 

All eyes were on him again, and Aaron found that himself folding in on himself, curling away from their gaze, just wanting to be alone. Alone was good, familiar, comforting. And then the door opened again. A nurse stood in the doorway, looking non too happy with what she found.

"I thought I told you all to stay out of here! Mr. Burr is in no fit shape to receive visitors, especially ones as rough as you all! Now out, out!"

Hamilton looked like he's going to argue, but Hercules motioned for him to keep quiet, nodding to Lafayette who nodded to John, who nodded back. They shuffled out of the room, each sparing Aaron one last glance, again filled with an amount of worry that Aaron had never been subject to. But then again, anyone would feel pity towards someone who just got shot. It was no big deal. The nurse came over and checked his vitals, writing everything down on her clipboard before patting his arm gently and leaving, shutting the door behind her. 

Aaron leaned back on his pillow, staring up at the ceiling, feeling his mind becoming clouded again. He turned his head, and just before he falls back to sleep, he saw Hamilton's face back at the window.

Yeah, Aaron would take the homicidal maniac any day. 


	3. What's Needed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry in advance.

“Did you sleep well last night, Mr. Burr?”

“Not particularly.”

Aaron’s voice was rough and strained, but no matter what the nurse had told him, he was bent on using it. The more things he could _do_ , the sooner he could recover and check himself out. But back to the matter at hand. Aaron was exhausted, having been up late into the night worrying, which was something he found himself to be quite good at.

The nurse had entered not long ago to change his bandages and ask if he needed anything. He had politely requested water, which she had kindly brought back for him.

“Maybe you can try getting a bit today,” she suggested, “that is if your friends don’t get too rowdy again.”

“Are they back _again_?” Aaron asked disbelief evident in his voice.

“Not this morning,” the nurse assured him, “but I’ve no doubt they’ll be back by this afternoon.”

She was quiet for a second, fixing him with a playful glare over her clipboard.

“That’s quite a group of friends you have, Mr. Burr.”

Aaron debated whether or not he should correct her, tell her they weren’t his friends, just a group of people he knew who obviously just felt sorry for him. But he simply stayed silent. Talk less; that was another thing he was good at.

When the nurse left, he decided to try to sit up again. Moving ever so slowly so as not to aggravate the wound, Aaron shifted into a sitting position, leaning his head back against the headboard.

The doctor had come in when he had first woken up, and Aaron had bombarded him with questions, since this was the first he’d seen of anyone who knew anything about his condition. He learned, much to his surprise and slight horror, that he had been in and out of consciousness for about a week prior to when he had been woken by Hamilton and the squad; something about excessive blood loss and a slight concussion.

He was told that they’d keep him another week to make sure there were no complications, but after that, he’d be able to go home. With regular checkups and some physical therapy, he’d be right as rain. He’d been told that he was incredibly lucky.

That wasn’t exactly the word that Aaron would use to describe his current situation.

Lucky people didn’t get shot at _all_. It was fools who ran their mouths off who got shot, and that was exactly what he had done. But as he thought back on it, there wasn’t much else he could have done, he couldn’t just leave that girl to fend for herself. Hamilton may believe that he had no opinions, but the truth was he had many. He was just smart about voicing them.

Aaron sighed, shutting his eyes and thinking about going home. Another week and he could forget all of this had happened; he could get back to keeping his head down.

As he was beginning to wonder whether or not he could stand yet, the sound of shouting rose from outside his room. He couldn’t help but groan, _what the hell was it now?_ Didn’t these people realize he’d been shot? Didn’t shot people get any peace?

The door to his room slammed open and shut so fast Aaron nearly got whiplash. He nearly got whiplash again when he saw who it was.

“James?”

James Madison stood leaning against the door of his room, looking worse than Burr. But that was to be expected, what with him spending so much time in the hospital himself. Madison’s eyes snapped to Aaron and he smiled, one of those little pity smiles that Aaron was slowly beginning to hate.

“Hey Aaron, how’re you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been shot. What’s going on out there?”

The shouting continued, muffled from the closed door, and Madison pulled at his collar. He sent Burr a strained smile before mentioning,

“Thomas is here too.”

Aaron knew what it was before James even said it, and the scowl that formed on his lips was enough to sober an orgy. He threw the blankets off his legs and, gently but quickly, swung his legs over the side of the bed, toeing the floor before hopping down.

“Aaron, what are you doing!?” Madison panicked, rushing over to him and trying to gently push him back down, “get back into bed, man!”

Aaron swatted him away, grabbing hold of I.V pole and testing his footing. He felt off balance but he figured that came with abdominal trauma and being in a bed for a week. He straightened and looked at James, his demeanor all business.

“Can you get the door for me, James.”

“No,” Madison answered; squaring up, ready to physically put Aaron back in the bed. “You can get back into that bed before you aggravate the wound.”

“Its fine, Madison,” Aaron responded, feeling only slightly dizzy, “what isn’t fine is them making a scene in a hospital! I’m the one who’ll get blamed for it!”

Madison looked confused for a minute, giving Burr the chance to push past him and step steadily towards the door.

“ _If_ they came to see me, then it’s my responsibility to make sure they don’t get in trouble.”

“Aaron,” Madison’s voice was much softer this time, “it’s not your responsibility to do anything. You’re going to hurt yourself, get back into the bed.”

“I’m not an invalid, James!”

“You were shot, Aaron! You need to let yourself heal.”

“No,” Aaron was just being petulant now; he wanted to leave, to go home.

“Aaron, get back into the bed.” Madison’s voice was calm and patient and Aaron hated it.

“Or what?” he snapped.

Madison looked at Aaron through sad eyes. He couldn’t understand how Aaron was feeling, he knew that. The doctor had said that he’d make a full recovery, but really, there was no real recovery from something like this. Aaron was terrified, and James could understand that, but James also had eight siblings, and knew when tough love was necessary.

“THOMAS!”

Aaron jumped at the sudden yell from Madison and made a sad attempt to race over to him and shut him up, but before he could make a move, the door behind him slammed open.

“Aaron, what the hell are you doing out of bed?”

Jefferson’s usually sarcastic and playful voice was unusually serious, and Aaron turned around slowly, back straight and eyes dark. He was sick of this shit. He wished everyone would stop pretending to care and leave him the hell alone.

“Mind your business Jefferson.”

From behind Thomas, Alexander peaked into the room, followed by the rest of the Hamilsquad. So he had been right in his deductions, the shouting had been Jefferson and Hamilton, arguing about some shit that no one else cared about. Well they could do that elsewhere.

“Aaron?” Hamilton sounded surprised and he pushed past Jefferson, “why are you out of bed?”

“I just asked tha-”

“Back off, Hamilton,” Aaron pushed the jumpy immigrant away, “I was coming to shut the rest of you up, because obviously none of you understand that this is a goddamn _hospital_ and no one here wants to hear your bullshit, least of all _me!_ ”

They were all silent, staring at him like some wounded animal. He hated it. Aaron Burr did not need their pity or their help, he could get through it on his own, like he always had and like he always would. Besides, once he was better, they’d all leave again anyway, losing interest just like everyone else.

Best to cut them off at the source.

“Burr,” Laurens’ voice cut through his thoughts, “your bandages…”

Aaron looked down at himself and sure enough, blood was soaking through the gauze around his stomach. A soft, sharp gasp and he took a step back, a pair of hands suddenly appearing to steady him. He swatted them away, beginning to panic.

“ _Nurse!_ Jesus Burr, _Nurse!_ ”

The nurse flew in almost instantaneously, shooing the boys out of the room angrily before turning on Aaron.

“What do you think you’re doing out of bed!? Your blood pressure must be through the roof, sit down this instant.”

Aaron did as he was told, once again becoming silent as the woman fussed over him, quickly removing the white wrappings from around him and cleaning up the blood. She then redressed it, and warned him strictly not to get over excited and _NOT TO GET OUT OF THE BED!_

As she left, she stopped by the group at the door, sending each one individually a glare. They looked at one another and cringed as she charged back down the hall to whatever she had been doing previously.

“Wow, a real piece of work, that one, eh Aaron?” Thomas commented with a grin, trying to lighten the mood.

But Aaron wasn’t listening. He was sitting on the side of the bed, leg dangling over the side as he stared down at his feet. His chest was tight, his throat as well. A small hiccup escaped his lips, and he felt a tear trail down his cheek. He wiped at it angrily, but more came and he couldn’t stop, _why couldn’t he stop!?_

Aaron let out a sharp sob, burying his face in his hands, trying to hide from the looks which were sent his way. He didn’t need their pity. He needed… _for this not to have happened, to keep his head down, to be quiet, a drink, his parents, **to be alone**._

And for the first time in twenty three years, Aaron cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was as hard to write as it was for you to read. But no fears! We will make Burr happy yet! Sometimes ya gotta be broken before we can REBUILD!  
> 


	4. Dirty Laundry

“I’ve never seen Burr that upset.” John commented, his mouth full of french-fries, “actually, now that I think about it, I’ve never seen Burr have any emotions at all.”

After Aaron’s breakdown, the group thought it best to give him some space, so James had brought them to a small restaurant not far from the hospital. James knew all the best places to go around hospitals.

“He used to have breakdowns like that when we were roommates,” Madison said, “though they usually consisted of him locking himself in his room and counting until he lost track. Then he’d start over. I’ve never seen him cry before.”

A silence drifted over them, even Alexander and Jefferson who were sitting across from one another miraculously stayed silent, still somewhat shaken by the spectrum of emotions Burr had shown.

“Did anyone else notice the cops go into his room after we left?” John piped up again, snatching an onion ring from Hercules’ plate.

Alex hummed in response, “What do you think actually happened?”

“Maybe Burr is secretly in a gang and he had a tiff with a rival gang!”

“John, this is Aaron we’re talking about. It’s more likely he accidentally wandered into a shooting range.”

“Well that’d be boring.”

“You’d rather he have a target on his head?” Laurens dropped his fork and glared at Herc.

“You know that’s not what I meant. Contrary to popular belief, I like Burr; he helped me with my end of the year research assignment.”

“The one on the turtles?”

“Yeah.”

It was quiet again, the group eating in peace, John stealing food from everyone’s plates until it came to Jefferson, who swatted the boy’s hand away. Something clicked in Alexander’s mind.

“Wait, why were you two there? I never figured you to be that close to Burr.”

This was met with incredulous looks from both Jefferson and Madison.

“We were at Princeton together.” Madison said.

“The little shit got in at thirteen, graduated two years later.”

“Huh.” Alex hummed thoughtfully, “what was he like?”

Madison smiled slightly, remembering a very tiny Burr.

“Smaller.” He said simply, and everyone laughed, “When Thomas came to visit me, he’d put Aaron on his shoulders in the rec center so he could reach the top of the climbing rope.”

Lafayette snorted into his drink and Laurens cackled gleefully. Jefferson smiled fondly at the memory, all of a sudden wondering if he’d still be able to do it. _Probably_. James smiled too, but it quickly disappeared as another thought took its place.

“He’d always get serious when a prof would come by, though. Never wanted to be seen as a child, never wanted help, with _anything_. Always had to do it on his own.”

Hamilton hummed, he knew the feeling. After his mother died, he’d had trouble opening up as well, allowing people to get close to him, he didn’t want to love anyone ever again, in fear that they’d leave him, like his father did, or die like his mother.

For once in his life, he understood Burr.

* * *

Back in the hospital Aaron was sitting, his back against the headboard and hands fidgeting in his lap. A couple of police officers had come in after they guys had left, all smiles and kind words. They asked him about what had happened and he had answered, telling them about the three men, the woman, and the gun.

They asked him if he remembered what the three men looked like. That was when he began to get nervous. He asked if that meant they were still out there. The officers had smiled and told him that there was nothing to worry about, and to get better soon.

Aaron responded with ‘wow, thanks.’

Now he sat, anxious and, though he wouldn’t admit it, more than a little afraid. His rational side told him there was nothing to be worried about, that the three men were probably high off their asses and wouldn’t even remember the night, let alone the man they had shot.

But something nagged at him. What if they did? And what if they found out he was still alive? Would they want to finish the job? Aaron sighed, rubbing at his tired eyes. It definitely hadn’t been the greatest of days for him.

Wiggling down, he slipped from the headrest and was lying down on the bed again. He stared up at the ceiling, his eyelids becoming heavy as he counted the cracks in it. Someone should probably fix that.

* * *

_The world is cold and dark. Aaron's blind, he can't see! There's a piercing pain in his side and he screams in agony. A hand on his shoulder. A voice in his ear._

_"Shouldn't have gotten involved, pretty boy."_

Aaron's eyes shot open. The hospital room was dark, the lights off, he couldn't see. His mind clicked, it must have been nighttime. So he had gotten some sleep after all. Just as he was about to release a breath he had been holding, something moved in the shadows by his bed, and a voice whispered.

"I can't see anything."

"Alex, shut up! He's gonna wake up, or worse, the nurse'll hear you and get the broom out again."

"Oui, and this time, little Alex, I will not be your human ladder."

"Well I  _can't_  see." Alexander pouted in the dark. 

As Aaron's eyes got more used to the lack of light, he could make out human shapes around his room. What joy, the Hamilsquad had returned. Slowly, he shut his eyes again, pretending to be asleep and listened as they spoke. 

“Did you see?” Laurens voice, “those cops came back, only they left when the nurse told them he was asleep.”

“God knows he needs it too, he looked like shit when we came back.”

Joy of joys, it was Jefferson. What a miracle that he could spend even a minute in a room with Hamilton and not start shouting.

“Well he was just shot, Thomas.”

“Did they say anything John? The cops I mean.”

“Yeah actually, Madison and I talked to them, asked what had happened. Apparently they had found Burr half dead in an alleyway somewhere downtown, Thomas and Martha Wayne style if you’ll pardon the expression.”

“What was our Burr doing in an alleyway downtown?” Lafayette asked, distaste evident in his voice.

“They said he told them there had been a girl.” James continued with the explanation, “She was being attacked by three guys and he tried to get them to back off. Didn’t end too well I guess.”

“And these guys are still out there!?” Hamilton whisper screamed.

“Yeah, the cops said they’d been chasing three guys who fit the description for weeks. Apparently they’re part of some gang-”

“I told you a gang was involved!”

Aaron didn't notice that he had begun to shake furiously.

"Holy shit, what's wrong with him!?"

"Is he having a seizure!?"

"Aaron, Aaron wake up!"

There were hands on the side of his face, steadying him but he could feel the panic rising in his chest. He shouldn't have gotten involved, should have turned around and went home the long way. He had always kept his head down and the one time he didn't, he was gonna pay for.

"Kid, look at me!”

Aaron’s eyes met Jefferson’s as the man stood over him, his face deadly serious. He didn’t like it when Jefferson was serious; it always meant that something was wrong.

“Aaron you’re alright,” he could hear Hamilton beside him but his eyes were locked on Jefferson. “You’re in the hospital, you’re fine.”

"Why are you here?" Aaron croaked; his voice strained with anxiety. He finally broke eye contact with Jefferson, choosing instead to stare down at his hands. He was fidgeting again.

"Geez, you sound terrible." John commented, walking around Jefferson to pour some water into a glass from the side table. 

"Real nice John," Mulligan said from somewhere else in the room, "This is the only time we  _could_  come, since Alex finally got us banned, we had to sneak in."

"Hey, that amputee  _needed_  to hear my political rap!"

"He needed to hear your rap like I need breast implants." Laurens said sarcastically as he handed Burr the glass of water.

"Which _is...?_ "

" _NOT AT ALL!_ "

Alexander huffed, falling back into the chair he had pulled up to Aaron's bed. Aaron scowled, none of them having answered his question. At least, not in the way he had meant. 

"I mean," he said after taking a sip of water, "what are you all doing  _here_ , in the hospital, in my room?"

They were silent, looking as confused as Aaron felt. He suddenly felt very self conscious and turned away, staring down at his hands again.

"We came to visit you Burr," Laurens broke the silence, "I thought that'd be obvious."

"Aaron, is something wrong?" Hercules asked gently.

"No, nothing's wrong." his voice was quiet though, and unconvincing. 

Something _was_ wrong in fact, something was very wrong indeed. The fear he had felt earlier was not going away, and he bit at his lip anxiously, hissing in pain as it stung. Lafayette leaned forward in his own chair, elbows up on Aaron's bed as he looked at the man.

“Mon ami, you need to talk to us, or else we cannot help you.”

“I don’t need help, that’s the thing.” Aaron voice was quiet, but they could hear him well enough, “I’ve been doing just fine getting through things on my own. I don’t need anyone pretending to care _now_.”

The room was absolutely silent and though Burr’s words were spoken barely above a whisper, they echoed through the room. Unsurprisingly, it was Jefferson who broke the silence.

“Well, now that you’ve finally decided to air the dirty laundry, it looks like we’ve got a hell of a lot to talk about.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh T Jeffs, Aaron thanks you for your kind words of reassurance.


	5. Constant Control

“There is nothing to talk about.” Aaron murmured, eyes downcast, folding his arms over his chest to stop his hands from fidgeting.

“Don’t give me that shit, kid.” Jefferson spat.

“Don’t call me kid, Jefferson! I’m not 13 anymore!”

“Well you sure as hell are acting like it!”

“Thomas, that’s enough.” James’ voice broke over their arguing as the two men glared at each other. The others watched with wide eyes at the exchange, never having seen the two act this way towards one another. Hamilton found it rather surreal.

“Look,” Herc interjected when it looked like neither man was about to back down, “We’re all exhausted, maybe we can do this in the morning.”

“No way,” Jefferson growled, “We’re gonna do it right now. You may not remember all the times I pulled your stupid ass outta the fire, but I sure do. So you may wanna rephrase you’re last statement.”

Aaron scowled up at the man, “What I _remember_ , Jefferson, is the _many_ times you complained about my being around. If I remember _correctly_ , the only reason you bothered to pull my ass out of the fire is because you didn’t want me to embarrass James.”

Thomas blinked, involuntarily taking a step back as Aaron continued, pushing himself up and leaning forward, a snarl on his lips.

“All I was to you was baggage, left by my dead parents and dumped on James. Well guess what!? I never asked for my parents to die, I never wanted to be stuck trying to hold up my family name because everyone else was dead! As far as I can remember, _Jefferson_ , the only thing you cared about was being able to fuck Madison. You liked me well enough when I left you to do that, spending half my first year sleeping on the floor of the Geography Building, so that you two could get it on in private. So no, I don’t need you to _pretend_ to care, I’m not James’ roommate anymore, so you’re not obligated to do _shit_ for me.”

The room was absolutely silent, no one moving and no one saying a word. Jefferson looked surprised and if you looked really close, he even seemed hurt. Behind him James rubbed his tired eyes.

“Mulligan’s right,” James said finally, “we’re all tired, we can discuss this later. Right now, we should go.”

The others nodded mutely, slowly getting up and moving towards the door. Hamilton paused, sparing Burr one last look. The man was leaning against the headrest, arms folded over his chest and his eyes dark. He didn’t look at them as they left.

James took Thomas’ arm and walked towards the door. Just before he left, Jefferson stopped in the doorway, looking back at the man who he’d seen grow up, the man who now refused to look at him. He opened his mouth, unsure of what to say, before closing it again.

Burr only looked back when he heard the door shut quietly. He was finally alone again, he’d told Jefferson what he’d been waiting to say since he was 13, he should’ve felt great. But all he felt was lonely.

That was new.

* * *

Sunlight streamed back into the bedroom and Aaron Burr had gotten no sleep. He was still in a sitting position, his mind whirling with the words he’d said last night. A part of him knew that Jefferson thought of him as more than just an annoyance, but it’d been years of being convinced of it and he found it hard to think anything else.

The nurse had come in again, telling Aaron that he was doing well and that he’d be able to go home before he knew it. He smiled tightly, thanked her and went back to thinking himself into a soft depression.

Around noon, Aaron heard the door open again and when he turned to see who had come in, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Angelica.”

The woman in question stared at him through red rimmed eyes before racing over to his bed and collapsing on top of him in a fit of sobs. Aaron gasped as she landed almost right on his wound, but Angelica didn’t seem to notice, she was too busy crying into his shoulder.

“Angelica? What’s wrong? Did something happen between you and John? I’ll kill him.”

Angelica laughed, pushing herself up and smiling wetly at Aaron. Then she punched him in the arm.

“OW!”

“What the hell were you doing in an alleyway confronting drug dealers, Aaron!?” she all but screamed at him as he rubbed his arm, which he knew would bruise, “You could have died!”

Aaron paused for a second, his brain not exactly working at the moment. Then something clicked.

“You came all the way from London because you heard I was in the hospital?”

It was the most innocent and unaware of questions and Angelica could hardly believe it.

“You’re kidding me right?”

Aaron stared. Angelica sighed.

“Aaron, bro, I love you, but you have to be the most insecure, oblivious asshole I have ever met.”

“I thought you were here to cry over me, not insult me.”

“I’m here to do both. The guys told me they’d been around.”

Aaron waited for her to finish the sentence, but she simply stared at him expectantly. Aaron sighed, running a hand over his face.

“They wouldn’t shut up; they wouldn’t leave me alone-”

“They’re worried about you, Aaron; of course they won’t leave you alone.”

Aaron folded his arms and looked away, pouting slightly.

“I don’t need-”

“Hold it!” Angelica shouted, “If you say you don’t need anyone, I swear to god I’ll punch you again.”

Aaron looked startled, backing up against the headboard a bit more. Angelica put her fist down, moving it over Aaron’s hand gently. He flinched but she didn’t move. Her eyes met his pleadingly and he stopped moving.

“Aaron listen, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you with all your family…gone,” Aaron’s eyes went to his hands, “and I know that when someone comes into your life, you become closed off.”

“I don’t-”

“Shut up a minute, I’m not done. If you keep turning away every person that cares about you, you’re going to end up very lonely.”

Aaron was quiet for a moment, “I don’t get lonely.”

“You will.” Angelica answered with a small smile.

“But-” Aaron began, almost thinking better of it, but continuing, “I mean, everyone I’ve known leaves, and they will too, I know it. So what’s the point?”

“James hasn’t left,” she pointed out, “and neither has Jefferson, as much as I hate to admit it.”

_Jefferson_. Cue an amazing amount of guilt on Aaron’s part.

She patted his hand before getting up from the bed. “At least _try_ to get on with them, alright? They’re only trying to help because they care about you.”

Aaron simply grunted, looking away again. Angelica smiled, well used to Aaron’s moods, bending down to write on a small piece of paper.

“This is my number and the hotel I’ll be staying at. Call me, okay. Or I’ll have one of the guys do it.”

She was heading towards the door and had just turned the handle when Aaron said quietly,

“Thank you Angelica.”

She left with a grin on her face.

* * *

James returned later that afternoon with a few of Aaron’s favorite books from his apartment. He’d given Madison the spare key the day he’d got the place, Aaron trusted him with it. Cue more guilt.

He was quiet as he watched Madison place the books on his bedside table, feeling thoroughly like a child again. James was upset, he could tell, but not at Aaron. Whenever James felt guilty he’d make this face, like he was thinking about something else and also about to be sick, which was the face he was making right now.

“I’m sorry James,” Aaron finally said, his voice quiet, “I was out of line last night.”

“We were all pretty tired, Aaron,” James assures him, but he won’t even look up. Aaron feels horrible, it’s killing him.

Angelica was right; he’s going to end up turning away everyone he actually cares about.

“Is Thomas-”

“Thomas flew back to Virginia this morning,” Aaron’s heart falls into his stomach, “there were some things he needed to settle back at Monticello.”

“Oh.” Now he definitely feels like an asshole. He resolves himself to call Jefferson the moment he’s able to, say that he was wrong, tired, out of line. Tell him to forget everything he’d said he was just being…an idiot. Like always.

“Aaron,” James’ voice breaks through his thoughts, “if we…if we ever made you feel like you were in the way, we never meant it like that. We never meant to hurt you, Aaron.”

Aaron felt 13 years old again, the sound of James’ disappointed parent voice ringing through his ears. He couldn’t say anything, for fear that he would mess things up again. He stared down at his hands. James shook his head, disappointed in himself, and Aaron clenched his teeth. By the time he opened his mouth, James was already shutting the door behind him.

“ _wait_ ” his voice was so small that there was no way James would have heard it, even if he had still been in the room.

With a growl, furious at himself for letting his emotions take control of him and creating this whole mess, he grabbed one of the books from the table and hurled it angrily at the wall. Of course, it was then that the Hamilsquad chose to come into his room again.

“ _Woah!_ ” Laurens shouted, barely dodging the book as it slammed against the wall. But Aaron didn’t care.

He was lying down again, having moved from sitting, and was facing away from the door, curled up and the blanket over his head. He could hear muttering and shuffling by the door, but he didn’t care anymore. He was a horrible person and he would end up dying alone.

As he was wallowing in self-pity, he felt the side of his bed dip and he moved along with it, his side hitting something solid. A body was then draped over him, a chin resting on his shoulder. He didn’t move.

The bed dipped on the other side as well, luckily nothing covered him on that side. He heard the shuffling of feet just beside his bed and the sound of a chair scraping from across the room.

“Ya’ll are weird.” Mulligan’s voice sounded from where he’d heard the chair.

“We’re being comforting, Herc,” Alexander’s voice came from his side, he must have been the one draped over him, “Aaron is distraught.”

“Burr,” a hand reached out and poked him from below, Laurens. “What’s wrong?”

Aaron decided to let them know what they already knew.

“I’m a terrible person.” He muttered, his voice muffled by the blankets.

“Oui, this is true.”

Aaron moved the blankets just to glare up at Lafayette who was sitting on the other side of his bed, grinning down at him. Then he disappeared back underneath it.

“Is this about last night?” Hamilton asked. “About what happened with Jefferson?”

Aaron didn’t answer.

“Things got pretty intense.” Laurens commented from where he was crouched on the floor, “Not that any of us can blame you for that, Burr. I mean, you were shot, you’re entitled to some emotional breakdowns-”

_“I shouldn’t be though!”_ he shouted, his voice still muffled, _“I should keep my emotions in check or be held responsible for my actions!”_

_That_ caught them by surprise.

“Aaron, mon ami,” Lafayette’s voice was soft and all sarcasm gone from it, “you do not need to always be in control. You have been hurt-”

“That’s no excuse!”

“ _No excuse?”_ Alexander sounded personally offended, “Aaron you’ve been _shot_ , in case you don’t remember!”

“I remember.” He whispered into the blanket. How could he not? The shooting pain in his abdomen was always present, reminding him of his own stupidity.

“Good,” he continued, “then ease up on yourself man. Take a break.”

“There are no breaks for Aaron Burr,” Aaron responded as he burrowed deeper into the blanket, his voice so dejected that it was just sad to listen to, “no breaks from being a constant disappointment.”

There was silence, then:

“Scoot over Laf,” Laurens got up from his place on the floor, “this looks like a three person comfort job.”

Laurens draped himself over Burr’s other side, mirroring Alex. Lafayette stayed seated where he was, and Hamilton moved up, draped closer to where Aaron’s face was hidden in the blankets, so that John could have more room. Hercules smiled from across the room, reading one of his fashion magazines.

As he was being gently suffocated by the men who thought themselves his friends, Aaron got to thinking. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, letting people in. Just so that he wouldn’t have to worry about being in constant control. Maybe he _could_ take a break. He promised himself he’d try to let the four men help when he needed it.

_Try_ being the key word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we see some development on Aaron's part, some Angelica smacking sense into our boy, and don't worry, this isn't the end for T Jeffs. Hope you enjoy! Also the next two weeks are exam weeks, but I will do my best to update when I can! Wish me luck!


	6. Not the Greatest of Mornings

As it turned out, letting people in was a terrible idea and Aaron wanted to renounce his vow to try. There wasn’t a moment when he was left alone, one of them was always there, whether it was Hercules showing him his designs (which Aaron honestly didn’t mind to tell the truth) or John reading from his biology textbook (how the man was able to sound so excited about the genome of the dairy cow was beyond him.)

Aaron wondered if this was pent up bonding that the four men had harboured until the moment Aaron let them in. Either way it was suffocating and Aaron prayed to be freed.

It was Saturday morning, a morning surprisingly free of his handlers, when the nurse suggested he try walking again, just to see if anything was painful, then they could catch it before he was released back into the wild. Aaron nodded, shifting on his bed and letting his legs dangle over the bed.

The nurse helped him stand up, steadying him as he got used to using his legs again, then let him go, telling him to shout if he had any problems. He thanked her and watched as she left. Aaron wasn’t far behind her out the door, thankful to be free of the room he’d already spent days in.

He felt good, surprisingly, as he walked around the hospital, getting a feel for his legs again. He began to feel worse when he heard the shouts on his way back to his room.

“He’s escaped, Herc! He could be anywhere by now! How could the doctors let this happen!?”

“Admittedly, our Aaron is very small, perhaps he slipped through their security.”

“Laf, this isn’t a prison, hospitals don’t have security.”

“Which is why he was able to escape!”

Aaron groaned, turning the corner and pinching the bridge of his nose. He should have known they wouldn’t give him a day of peace. When he rounded the corner, he was all but ready to tell them to go away, didn’t they have jobs?

Except what he saw in the hallway of his room stopped him short. Sure enough, there were his four “friends” but the woman who stood in the midst of them made his throat close up. She was tall and beautiful, and had Aaron’s eyes. His breathing hitched.

“There he is!” John shouted, snapping Aaron out of his thoughts.

The men raced over to him and the woman followed slowly, her head down, like she knew what he was thinking. 

“Aaron,” Hamilton said, practically jumping with excitement, “look who we found!? I didn’t know you had a sister!”

“Neither did I.” he snarled, pushing Alexander off roughly and shoving his way past the men, past the woman, and back to his room.

The four of them stared dumbly after him, but the woman didn’t even look up, just stared at her shoes, seemingly unsurprised by Aaron’s outburst.

“I’ll go talk to him.” she said gently. 

When Hamilton went to follow her, Hercules pulled him back.

“We should let them be.”

* * *

Back in the room, Aaron was livid, pacing back and forth by his bed. He rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, only looking up when he heard the door shut. The woman was standing there, watching Aaron with sad, pitying eyes. If anything, that made him even more angry.

“No!” he shouted, “You don’t get to look at me like that! What the hell are you doing here, Sarah!?”

“You used to call me Sally.” she said quietly, looking away from him, guilt etched onto her face.

“That was before you forgot I existed.” he hissed.

“I never forgot you existed, Aaron. I was-”

“ _ BUSY! _ ” he shouted, finishing her sentence. Sally flinched. “You were busy when I graduated; you know you were the only one I sent an invitation to!? You were busy when I came home for the summer and Timothy beat me senseless! I had to stay with my roommate and his boyfriend the entire summer, and two more summers after that because  _ when I called you _ , you told me you couldn’t have me around the house! But at least they made a better family for me than you! I haven’t seen you for 11 goddamn years!”

Breathing hard, Aaron sat down on his bed, facing away from his sister and taking deep breaths, not wanting to start bleeding again and get another reprimand from the nurse. 

“What Timothy did wasn’t my fault.” She said, her voice was sure, no regret whatsoever.

“No, but when I _ needed you-” _

“I’m here now aren’t I?” she cut him off, and Aaron sighed. 

“I’m surprised to say the least.” his monotone voice didn’t hint at this, but he had to admit, he was. 

“Well I finally got Tapping to agree to take care of Simon for the weekend, but I can’t stay long or else-”

Aaron’s heart dropped to his stomach.

“Who’s Simon?” his voice was small and quiet, already knowing the answer.

Sally seemed to realise her mistake of mentioning it, but there was no going back now. She sighed, ready for when Aaron told her to leave.

“My son,” she said firmly, “your nephew.”

“Your son.” Aaron repeated, his voice catching in his throat, “How old is he?”

“He turns four this year.” she answered anxiously, hands fidgeting at her sides. 

Aaron put his head in his hands, rubbing at his eyes furiously until they began to sting. He had had a nephew for four years and never knew, his sister either forgetting or refusing to tell him, and he didn’t know which would be worse.

“Get out.” he said finally, quietly. “Please, just...go.”

“Aaron, I did what I thought was best-”

“For who!?” Aaron shouted, “Am I that much of a disappointment that you keep the existance of my nephew a secret!? Are you afraid my seemingly  _ amazing  _ ability to  _ shame  _ my family might rub off on him!?”

“You’re being ridiculous-”

“No! Not this time, you are not making this my fault! You- _ you- _ ” Aaron paused, hands clenching uselessly beside him. His breathing was quick and his voice had gone quiet. 

Anger wasn’t getting him anywhere, it didn’t feel as good as he thought it would. Sally simply stood before him, tall, face impassive. Nothing he said was going to get through to her. You can’t force people to love you, he thought. And so he wouldn’t.

“I appreciate you coming all the way down, Sarah, but I wouldn’t make a habit of it if I were you. I wouldn’t want to be the cause for anymore wasted time. I hope you have a safe trip home.”

She opened her mouth, seemingly about to say something, but shut it again, shaking her head at him and turning her back, slamming the door shut behind her. He sighed, long and tired, not having wanted this to start out his day. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his sister, quite the opposite in fact. But that was the problem. He loved her more than anything in his life, which made it hurt so much more.

This was the exact reason he closed himself off, why he feared people getting close to him, caring about other people. Because if his own sister left him behind, what would other people do? He didn’t want the added hurt. And so he sat on the edge of his bed, looking out the window of his bedroom as the day rolled into the afternoon; contemplating. 

He didn’t bother to look around when the door opened again. He heard the shuffling of feet behind him and felt the dip of his bed behind and on either side of him.

“I do not think it went well.” Lafayette commented taking a seat beside him.

With a deep breath and a complete loss of any dignity he had previously had, Aaron leaned over, resting his head on Lafayette’s shoulder, continuing to gaze out the window. Lafayette sent the three other men a wide eyed look.

“I  _ really  _ do not think it went well.” 

Alexander, who was kneeling on the bed behind him, leaned forward, nudging Aaron’s shoulder lightly.

“Aaron? You okay?”

“Am I really that difficult to love?” he asked, talking more to himself than to the men around him, “I push people away because they don’t want me anyway. No one wants me.”

Unknown to the four men, Aaron ran a hand over a long but pale scar on his arm, the first in a series of marks which proved his point. The gunshot wound would just be another reminder of how much the world hated him.

“ _ We _ want you, Burr.” Laurens nudged him with his forehead. This made Aaron smile a little.

“No, I only ruin things.”

“No way!” Alex shouted, “Remember the time you finally let us get you drunk but made us promise not to let you do anything stupid, and then we let you run around Central Park naked? That was great!”

Alex looked around, grinning, only to shrink away from the looks the others gave him. 

“Or when Alex got attacked by that group of pigeons and you ran five red lights and three stop signs to get us to the hospital across town in seven minutes. During rush hour!”

“The best was when you finally attacked Charles Lee! He was in that cast for weeks, and that bite mark is gonna be there forever!”

“The point is, little Burr, we enjoy your company. You balance our group rather well, we can appreciate this. You think first, we do not always bother with the thinking.”

Aaron let himself keep smiling, but did reposition himself off of Lafayette’s shoulder, which the frenchman whined about, trying to get him to stay. 

“Thanks guys.” his voice was still quiet, but he meant it. “Though, if you don’t mind, I think I’d like to be alone for a bit.”

“I have a feeling you’ve been alone for too long, Burr,” Hercules said, putting a hand on Aaron’s shoulder, and the younger man felt grounded by the man’s strong, yet gentle grip, “We put our numbers on your phone, so call us if you need us.”

He handed Aaron his cell phone, which he assumed they’d gotten from his bloodstained belongings. As the men filed out of his room, he received gentle, reassuring pats from each of them, until finally the door closed and he was left in silence.

On the edge of the bed, he went through his phone, looking for their contact numbers, and huffed a laugh at the names they’d placed.

_ TinkerTailorSoldierSpy _

_ Yertle the Turtle _

_ HAM!WOW _

_ TheFrenchiestFry _

Shaking his head, he had to admit that for once, he didn’t feel like utter shit. He wondered if this was what friends did regularly, pull you out of the gutter. Angelica had always done that for him, but recently she’d been in London with Church, and while he didn’t complain, he missed her everyday.

Aaron flipped through his contacts, dialing one of the numbers and holding the phone up. He took a breath as it rang. 

_ “Monticello residence.” _ Thomas’ sing-song voice answered from the other end.

Jefferson had insisted on keeping a landline for Monticello, one of those old timey wall phones with the rotary dial. He said that it kept the house in character, whatever that meant. 

“Hey Thomas.” Aaron said, his voice rising in pitch and nervousness. Thomas’ voice went from relaxed to panicked in a matter of seconds.

_ “Aaron, is everything alright? Did something happen-” _

“No, no. Everything’s fine.”

_ “Oh,” _ Thomas went silent for a moment, and Aaron shuffled from where he sat,  _ “what’s up?” _

He sounded as awkward as Aaron felt. The younger man really didn’t want to do this, but he had to. He’d hurt both James and Thomas,he knew that, and after seeing Sarah...well he realized how good the two had been to him. 

He hadn’t been fair to Thomas.

“I- uh,” he stuttered, “Listen Thomas, I wanted to apologize about what happened.”

Jefferson began to argue, saying it wasn’t Aaron’s fault, that he was an ass, that there was nothing to apologize for, but Burr cut him off, smiling to himself.

“What I said wasn’t fair,” he continued, “You did so much for me, and I was a prick to forget it. I’m sorry, Thomas.”

_ “What brought on this revelation?” _ the man on the other end asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but Aaron could hear the relief in his voice.

“I got a visit today that reminded me who cares and who doesn’t.”

Thomas was quiet, but Aaron knew what he was thinking.

“It wasn’t  _ him _ ,” he was quick to explain, “Sarah came by.”

_ “I see.” _ his voice had grown low again and Aaron knew he was upset. 

Thomas knew all about Aaron’s history with his family, having found the boy on his doorstep the summer after graduation covered in bruises and a briefcase in hand. He’d insisted the boy stay, and so he had, for that summer, and the next, and the next, until Aaron was finally able to live on his own legally.

As the silence dragged on, not uncomfortable silence mind you, Aaron decided to say what he had been meaning to say.

“Thank you, Thomas.”

_ “For what, kid?” _

“For always being there for me,” Aaron fiddled with the blanket on his bed, “For being a family to me.”

In Virginia, Thomas Jefferson smiled fondly.

_ “My pleasure, kid,” _ his voice had gone back to playful, but he meant it,  _ “Now get some rest, I’ll come back when I can.” _

“Yeah, no worries.”

_ “And don’t you go throwing anymore tantrums while I’m gone.” _

Aaron chuckled, “I won’t. See you.”

_ “See ya, kid.” _

Putting the phone down on the bedside table, Aaron sighed. It was only 3:00 in the afternoon and he was exhausted. He had hoped his day would have gone better, what with him starting to walk again. 

That reminded him, he still could! So he shuffled off the bed, taking tentative steps out of his room and beginning his walk where he’d left off, hoping he wouldn’t come back to anymore surprises.

He didn’t think he would be able to handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a bit more sad Burr, but don't worry, he's getting happier, realizing that not everything is his fault and NO you can't force people to love you. Also, more history of Burr's life, which will go more into detail in another series fic I'm writing which'll be up soon. And he worked it out with TJeffs! Good for you, Burr!! Hope you enjoyed, and sorry it took so long!  
> Comments and kudos fuel my writing!  
> xoxo


	7. Going AWOL

Finally.

That was the only word drifting through Aaron Burr’s mind as he walked down the hall towards the reception desk. It had finally been a week and the Doctor had told him, after checking over all his vitals, blood work, and doing other such tests, that he was alright to be released. 

It felt good to be out of the hospital garments, he thought to himself as he tugged at the hem of his t-shirt. He had asked James to pick some clothes up for him a few days ago, purposefully leaving out that he was discharging himself in a few days.

It’s not that he wanted to worry him, he just knew that if he’d mentioned it, James would have come to pick him up, taken him to the apartment, lingered and hovered like a mother hen, and honestly probably stayed the night. Rather selfishly, Aaron didn’t really want to deal with that. 

It was his first day of freedom in two weeks of being cooped up in a hospital bed, and not the greatest two weeks either. He simply wanted peace and quiet. And for once, to be alone.

He knew he’d catch shit for it from James, who’d then tell Thomas who would then either send shit Express from Virginia, or come all the way out to make a personal delivery. And Aaron would take it, making sure to keep his emotions in check this time. 

_ They’re just trying to help, _ he’d remind himself,  _ there’s no way they’d understand. _

Aaron stood by his feelings. He didn’t need people hovering over him 24/7, he could take care of himself, gunshot wound or no gunshot wound. But he was trying; trying to let them in at least a bit. But 25 years of being essentially alone and you pick up some bad habits.

When he reached the desk, he tapped his fingers patiently against the wood, thanking the powers that be that Hamilton was at work that morning. They worked at the same law firm and Burr knew that Washington would only allow so many days of leave, even for Hamilton, his favorite. 

He fought back the bitterness which blossomed in his chest. It was no secret that their boss, George Washington, had no love for Aaron and he fully expected a reprimand the moment he got back for being away from work for so long. He held back a sneer. 

The woman behind the table put the phone she had been previously speaking on, back on the retriever, turning to look at him with a smile. 

“How can I help you today?”

“I’d like to discharge myself.”

“Alright, I’ll just have you sign this,” she pulled out a clipboard and waver, handing it over the counter to him. 

Aaron made sure to read it over before signing his name at the bottom. As he handed it back to her, she got up, moving into the room behind the desk to retrieve his belongings which was really just his keys and wallet. He put them in his pocket and smiled, taking out his phone as he walked to the door and calling a cab.

Stepping into the fresh air of the outside world, Aaron breathed deeply, stretching his shoulders slightly, feeling more free than he had in weeks. It wasn’t long until the taxi arrived and Aaron got in, relaying his address to the man.

As they drove, Aaron laid his head against the window, watching the apartments of New York roll by and absentmindedly stroking the bandages under his shirt. He had a check up scheduled each week to make sure his wound wouldn’t get infected and they’d told him to change the bandages at least three times a day.

Aaron could do that.

The cab pulled up in front of his apartment building and Aaron thanked him, handing him the money and exiting the car, watching it as it continued down the street. Breathing in the scent of autumn, Burr skipped up the steps, carefully though because his side still ached and he cringed at the movement. 

Once inside, he took the elevator up, pressing his floor number and leaning back against the wall. He breathed deeply, eyes shut and fingers still against the wall. The soft hum of elevator music washed over him, giving him a sense of heavy calm.

_ Ding _

The metal doors opened and Aaron blinked slowly, coming out of his exhausted haze and stepping out. His apartment room was just down the hall and his shoes thumped, muffled against the carpeted hall. It was all very familiar but there was nothing wrong with that. At this point, Aaron could do with a bit of familiarity. 

At last, he reached his door, fishing around in his pocket for his keys. Relief flowed through him as he unlocked the door, letting his hand pause on the door handle before turning it, swinging the door open. Aaron stood in the doorway, staring into his apartment as if he’d been gone forever. And that’s what it felt like; like he hadn’t been home in years. 

Breathing deeply, Aaron sighed, stepping inside, allowing the familiar feelings of his home wash over him. He placed the keys on the counter, kicking the door shut behind him. Aaron stepped further into the room, taking off each shoe and placing them neatly by the door. His socks slid on the polished wood as he walked to the couch.

He sat down slowly, hesitantly, before putting his head in his hands and curling in on himself. 

He was so tired.

* * *

As it turned out, Alexander had taken half the day off of work in order to visit his dearest yet slightly always irritated friend Aaron Burr. In the time he’d started visiting, he’d made friends with almost all the staff and a few patients as well. They found him endearingly annoying.

Walking through the halls of the hospital, flowers in hand, Alex thought about Aaron, and what he’d gone through in the past week. He knew it wouldn’t be long until he was allowed to leave and Alex had party ideas all set up for when it happened. In his opinion, Aaron could do with a bit of fun.

This was, of course, pushed from his mind when he walked into Aaron’s room.

He froze at the sight of the empty, made up bed, the worst case scenario running through his head. Aaron was dead, he’d died in the night. Now, of course this was silly, but it was the thought which was taking up his brain space at the moment. He whirled around, catching the nearest nurse by the sleeve.

“Ma’am,” he said desperately, “what happened to the man who was in this room?”

She hesitated, checking her clipboard for a moment before looking back up at him.

“Oh, Mr. Burr was discharged this morning.”

Two feelings hit Alex like a pair of bricks. 1.) Relief. Aaron wasn’t dead, on the contrary, he must have been fine if he’d been discharged. The second emotion was frustration. Aaron must have been out of his GODDAMN MIND if he thought he’d be able to handle this on his own. 

There was a third emotion which he felt as well. Concern. Had Aaron made it home alright? Where had he gotten a ride? Had he been kidnapped? Collapsed on the floor of his apartment? He should totally get Aaron one of those life alert things incase he fell and couldn’t get back up. 

As these thoughts whizzed through his mind, Alex pulled out his phone, immediately texting the guys.

**HAM!WOW:** BURR’S GONE AWOL! HE DISCHARGED HIMSELF FROM THE HOSPITAL AND I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE WENT!!!!

**TinkerTailorSoldierSpy:** he probably just went home chill hammy

**HAM!WOW:** BUT WHAT IF HE GOT KIDNAPPED OR PAST OUT ON HIS FLOOR!? HE DOESN’T HAVE LIFE ALERT

**Yertle the Turtle:** my gramma has life alert

**HAM!WOW:** LAURENS PLS WE HAVE TO FIND BURR

**TheFrenchiestFry** : What is this about Burr?

**HAM!WOW** : HE’S ON THE MOVE

**Yertle the Turtle:** aren’t you supposed to be @ work Ham?

**HAM!WOW:** Washington gave me half the day to visit burr

**TheFrenchiestFry** : Washington is so kind~

**TinkerTailorSoldierSpy:** we know u love him Laf

**TheFrenchiestFry** : What can I say, he is a beautiful man~

**Yertle the Turtle:** omg can we get back to burr?

**HAM!WOW:** pls

**HAM!WOW:** ALRIGHT YOU GUYS GO TO HIS APARTMENT I’LL CALL MADISON

**TinkerTailorSoldierSpy:** the boy’s gonna murder us with his bare hands

Alex quickly tapped in James’ number, which he knew from when they had interned together, and tapped his foot impatiently.

“Hello?”

“Madison, Aaron discharged himself from the hospital!” Alex cried hysterically.

To his surprise, Hamilton heard laughter on the other end. James was laughing quietly to himself and Alex looked at his phone with wide eyes.

“I knew he’d do something like this,” James said finally, “I honestly don’t think he can help it. I’ve known the boy since he was 13 and he’s never changed.”

“But what if something's happened to him!?” Alexander asked frantically, though he was slightly more calm knowing that James had expected it, “He must know he can’t do this on his own.”

Alexander’s voice had gotten somewhat quieter, filled with confusion concerning Burr’s actions. He heard Madison sigh on the other end.

“Come over, I’ll give you the key to his apartment.”

Hamilton was at Madison’s door in no time, bouncing on the balls of his feet in both anxiety and excitement. He’d never been inside Burr’s apartment, and while he’d hoped he’d have been invited in at some point rather than having to break in, he was still very much looking forward to it.

James opened the door, leaning against the frame and holding out a key on a ring. He dropped it into Alex’s hand before looking at the younger man with stern eyes.

“Listen to me and listen good, Hamilton. Aaron is in a sensitive spot right now, and as much as he says he doesn’t, he needs help. What I don’t want you and your band of hoodlums doing is making it any worse. So when he says keep your distance, keep your distance. The kid’s been through some awful shit and this has probably affected him a hell of a lot more than he lets on.”

Alexander squirmed under Madison’s intense glare, but nodded resolutely. James gave him one last once over before nodding himself. Before he shut the door, Alex asked,

“Is there any reason...you’re not going to check on him.”

He wasn’t asking to be rude, he was just curious. It seemed like he was far closer to Aaron than he or the squad was. James smiled slightly.

“I’m heading up to Virginia to help Thomas settle some family matters. I swear, they’re all vultures. Thomas’ family that is.” he paused, “Also I think Aaron’s convinced that i think he can’t take care of himself. Me going over there would just make it worse.”

Hamilton nodded again, offering James a small smile of his own. Madison told him to call if there was a problem and proceeded to shut his door slowly. Alex fidgeted with the key in his hand, staying where he stood for a moment longer, getting the feeling that there was a lot more going on than he knew about.

When he finally made it to Burr’s apartment, he saw the boys standing outside it, John leaning against the wall across from Herc who was kicking a hacky sack with impressive flexibility. Lafayette turned to greet him.

“We have tried phoning him but he does not pick up.”

“Doesn’t answer the door either.” John mentioned, watching Herc in awe.

“Maybe he’s just asleep.” Hercules suggested, not taking his eyes off the hacky sack.

“We knocked for like, five straight minutes.”

“Heavy sleeper?” 

Alexander only hummed, pulling out the key from his pocket and putting it in the lock. Herc kicked up hacky sack and caught it in his hand, putting it back in his bag.

“Where’d you get the key?” John asked.

“Madison gave it to me.” it was obvious that Alex’s mind was not on the topic at hand, still thinking back to what James had told him.

Unlocking the door with a  _ click _ , Alex swung it open, stepping inside cautiously, his eyes jumping around for any sight of Burr. The others entered after him, John whistling at the sight of the room.

“Swanky digs.”

And they were indeed swanky digs. Large, full length windows circled the living room, revealing New York in all its glory. The furniture was simple yet elegant, white couches on white carpeting, separating the furniture from the easily scratchable hardwood floor. Hamilton eyed the purple throw pillows, obviously stinking of Jefferson, but he had to admit, it leant the room a stylish, yet minimalist feel. 

“This kitchen is amazing.” Hercules breathed, tracing his hand over the marble countertops. The need to cook something in it was overwhelming him. 

“Yo,” John called from across the room, beside one of the couches, “I found Burr.”

The team walked over, looking down at the couch with pity in their eyes. Aaron was curled up so tightly that he only took up half the couch. His eyes were shut viciously tight and he shook, arms wrapped around himself as if protecting himself from something.

“Is he asleep?” Herc asked, peering down at him from behind Alex.

“I think so,” he answered, “looks like he’s having a nightmare.”

“Should we wake him up?”

Alexander hummed, unsure. Aaron looked terrible, dark rings under his eyes and beads of sweat on his forehead. There was no doubt he needed the sleep, and he knew that Burr would refuse to sleep should he wake up and find the gang in his apartment. 

“No, he needs to sleep. We should move him to his bedroom though.”

“It’s over here!” Laurens called and they all turned to look.

“How do you move so fast?” Lafayette pondered out loud and got a shrug in response.

Across the apartment, John had opened a door, revealing a bed, not too large, and a nightstand. It was actually the least decorated part of the apartment, holding only a hardwood dresser and wardrobe. By the amount of books strewn on the bedside table, there was no doubt that it was Aaron’s bedroom.

Lafayette put two strong arms beneath Aaron, under his knees and back, lifting him up and holding the man close to his chest. He was very small, the frenchman noticed as he carried him to the bedroom. Burr seemed to calm down a bit at the contact but he didn’t wake up. 

Gently, Lafayette set him on the bed, putting a soft hand on the side of Aaron’s face. The man leaned into the touch and Lafayette couldn’t contain his grin. Burr was always so serious, keeping a strict rule on personal space, especially when it came to the frenchman. It wasn’t Laf’s fault that he loved physical contact. He was a very affectionate person!

“Laf, stop fondling Burr,” Hercules hissed from the doorway, “Chopped is on and Alex found his library.”

Lafayette chuckled, placing a hand on Aaron’s forehead lightly, and placing a quick peck on the man’s cheek. 

“Sleep well, little Burr.”

* * *

The first thing that Aaron woke up to was the soft drone of voices outside his room. He didn’t remember inviting anyone over, and he hadn’t told James that he was out of hospital. He also didn’t remember moving from the couch to his bedroom.

Sitting up quickly, Aaron hopped out of his bed, moving cautiously to his door and opening it just slightly. The smell hit him immediately and he nearly fainted. Someone was cooking something that smelled AMAZING and Aaron felt as though he hadn’t eaten in days. Which wasn’t far from the truth.

He stepped out slowly, eyes flitting around the room. What he saw made his mouth drop open. The Hamilsquad was strewn across his apartment, Laurens lying on the floor, Lafayette across his couch, and Alexander sitting cross legged in one of the larger chairs.They were watching some cooking show on his tv.  Aaron rubbed his eyes tiredly. 

“Aaron!”

Eyes snapped up to meet his and Aaron put on his best scowl.

“What are you all doing in my apartment?” he stopped, “more importantly,  _ how  _ did you get in?”

“Madison gave me the key!” Alex grinned from the chair.

Great, now he’d have to change the locks.

“Traitor.” Aaron muttered, crossing his arms. 

All of a sudden, Hamilton was standing before him, poking him in the chest with a look of frustration on his face.

“ _ You! _ Why didn’t you tell anyone you were leaving the hospital!?”

Aaron was surprised for a second, before he glared.

“I didn’t know I was on a  _ leash _ , Hamilton.” he snapped, and Lafayette and Laurens looked up to watch the exchange.

A look of hurt flashed on Alexander’s face and Aaron mentally kicked himself. They were just trying to help, he reminded himself. He sighed, running a hand over his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, which seemed to startle everyone, “I just...I don’t need babysitters. I’m fine.”

“Well consider this just a social call.” Herc’s voice called from around the corner, and Aaron went to look.

He raised an eyebrow at the man as he cooked in his kitchen, apron wrapped around him as he hummed to himself. Aaron ran a hand over his face. There was no way they were leaving anytime soon, not when they’d already gone to so much trouble to break into his home. 

So he walked over to the living room, shooing Lafayette over and sitting down on the couch, scowling at the grin the frenchman was giving him.

“What’re we watching?”

“Chopped. This asshole overcooked the chicken.”

And so they sat together in comfortable silence, broken only by the shouts of the Hamilsquad whenever a chef did something stupid. So it wasn’t entirely silent, but that was fine. Hercules made dinner, which they all enjoyed together and which Aaron complimented excessively even as Herc waved him off. 

As the evening wore on, the boys decided they should head home, saying their goodbyes (Aaron scowled as Lafayette planted a kiss on each cheek) and Aaron telling them to at least call before breaking into his house. They waved him off, each grinning widely as they left. 

Aaron shut the door and sighed, leaning against the wall. As much as he hated to admit it, he had had fun. But a thought kept penetrating his mind. The gang wouldn’t always be there with Burr to keep him occupied and the one thing he couldn’t stand was days on end of feeling useless. He’d felt enough of that in the hospital. 

Walking into the bathroom, he took his shirt off, eyeing the small scars which littered his dark skin until he stopped at the white bandage. He took it off, cleaning the area around the wound and redressing it. He stood there for a few moments, simply looking at himself in the mirror. 

He’d go back to work tomorrow, even though he knew the doctors wouldn’t approve. Hell, Hamilton would probably get in his face when he got there, but he knew Washington wouldn’t care. And that was fine. He didn’t need Washington to pretend to care. At least he’d be doing something with his time, rather than being…

Worthless.

Useless.

A waste of space.

He shook his head, evicting the thoughts from his mind. He wasn’t any of those things, he knew that, the beliefs of his youth intruding on him once again. But he knew how to deal with it. Besides, he was home now, nothing else could go wrong. Everything would go back to normal soon. 

He had nothing to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK AARON! MWAHAHAHAA!!!  
> Next chapter, Aaron goes to WERK! :D There will be Washington, walking the line between concerned and kinda an asshole so that'll be fun. Also Elizaaaa! Pls tell me what you think, b/c i liked writing this one, and it opens the door to more Squad break in's. Also I thought the life alert thing was hilarious. I laughed while writing it. :D  
> *whispers* i love you all so much.


	8. Meet Me Inside

Aaron didn’t sleep... _ well _ that night.

To be perfectly honest, he didn’t sleep at all, sitting at his kitchen table, a cup of hot coffee in his hand for hours. He couldn’t bare to sleep, he couldn’t be faced with the nightmares, the constant replay of getting shot and with each pull of the trigger, the shooting pain in his side. He knew if he closed his eyes they would come. So he simply didn’t close his eyes.

It was as simple as that.

Aaron blinked blearily as the sun rose, the light streaming in through his windows. A part of him knew that going back to work was a terrible idea, especially after he’d gotten no sleep and was essentially dead on his feet. But a larger, much more panicked part of him was convinced that he needed to work.

Work himself to exhaustion, and maybe the nightmares wouldn’t come every time he closed his eyes. Keep himself busy, so his mind wouldn’t return to the thoughts which fought their way into his head everyday. Plus, he was feeling fine.

After a quick shower, he continued to convince himself that he was fine.

After his tenth cup of coffee, he continued to convince himself that, again, he was fine.

Pulling on his shirt, he convinced himself that he was... _ fine _ .

Pulling up his pants, he brushed his wound, sending a shot of pain through him. Alright, so maybe he wasn’t fine.

But no one else needed to know that. 

He stood in front of his closet, attempting to pick out a tie, one that would scream  _ I’M FINE NOT FEELING AS THOUGH I’M ABOUT TO COLLAPSE! GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS!  _ His eyes landed on his black one. Conservative. Perfect.

He had some difficulty tying it, his hands fumbling with the knot, until eventually he simply gave up, letting it fall around his neck, undone. It wouldn’t matter, as long as he could do his job. That’s all Washington cared about.

The cold feeling in his chest lasted as he started his trek to work, standing on the bus, unwilling to show the discomfort he felt in his side. He clutched his briefcase tightly in his fist, his knuckles turning white with each jolt of the bus. He was going to catch hell from his doctors, he knew that for sure. 

Finally he reached the Law firm, hopping off the bus and making his way to the front door. He crossed the lobby, smiling at the receptionist, ignoring her surprised look at seeing him. He stepped steadily into the elevator, watching as the receptionist leaped for the phone, her eyes never leaving his as she began to speak into it.

That being said, he should have been less surprised when, the moment he stepped out of the elevator, Hamilton was in his face.

“What the  _ hell  _ do you think you’re doing here.” the shorter man hissed, and Aaron turned away, rubbing his head as the noise made his temples throb. 

“I’m working, Hamilton,” Burr responded, his voice stiff with exhaustion, “I’m at work, about to work, in the process of working. Work.”

Alexander fixed him with a concerned stare, looking over the disheveled man standing before him. His tie wasn’t even tied for God’s sake, and if there was one thing Aaron Burr was known for, it was being flawlessly dressed.

“How much sleep have you had?”

Aaron didn’t answer, opting to look out a window instead.

“Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Couldn’t.” Burr let slip before he could stop himself, “I need to work, Hamilton, I’ve been gone for too long. There’s so much work to do.”

“No, Aaron.” Alexander said gently, putting a hand on his chest to stop Burr from moving forward, “You need to go home. How did you even get here?”

“Bus.”

“Jesus, Burr. You just got out of the hospital, you know that’s not good for you-”

“I know what’s best for me, Hamilton.” Burr was fuming now. Why couldn’t Alex just let him work? He worked himself to the bone all the time, why was it any different when Aaron did it?

“Obviously you don’t,” the shorter man retaliated, “or you’d be at home sleeping, resting!”

“I told you, I can’t sleep. Now get out of my way, I have work to do.”

“Aaron.” Alexander said in a warning tone. When Aaron didn’t look back, he tried again, “I’ll go to Washington.”

“Go ahead,” there was venom in Aaron’s words now, “he won’t care. He’ll probably agree with me.”

He watched as Alexander clenched his fists, spinning on his heel and walking in the direction of Washington’s office. Aaron scowled, making his way to his own office, setting his briefcase down and taking a seat. The coffee hadn’t seemed to work for more than simply keeping him on his feet. His brain was absolutely fried. But he had to work, to keep himself occupied. 

It wasn’t long before Alexander appeared in his doorway again, a satisfied smile on his face. Burr was pouring over case notes when he looked up, a snarl forming on his lips.

“ _ What _ , Hamilton?”

“Washington wants to see you.”

Shoving himself roughly out of his chair, he pushed past Alexander, nearly knocking the man over as he marched towards his boss’s office. He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself down enough to be able to convince Washington how fine he was. He stopped at the door, hand on the knob.

He felt his legs shaking, the feeling of nauseousness coming on him full force. He took a step back, hand going to his mouth. Then his eyes found Hamilton, watching him from across the room with a concerned stare, looking ready to race over and help Burr should he fall over. 

The old feeling of bitterness crept in. Aaron didn’t need the man’s help, he didn’t need someone to dictate what he should and shouldn’t be doing in his own life. He definitely didn’t need that person to be Alexander Hamilton. He glared across the room, stepping forward again and throwing open Washington’s door.

Alexander watched Burr go in, sighing and running a hand through his hair. He took out his phone, dialing a number and holding it up, tapping his foot as he waited for the person to pick up.

“Hey you free? Great. Can you come pick up Aaron from work?”

* * *

Washington’s office was large, a great oak desk sitting in the center, the shades drawn, and a maroon carpet covering the floor. Aaron would describe the room as smoke. Though it’s inhabitant was a completely different matter altogether.

“Burr,” his voice was hard and stern from his spot behind the desk, “take a seat.”

Aaron fidgeted, “I’d rather stand, sir. I have a lot of work to do.”

A sigh. He watched as Washington rubbed his eyes tiredly and motioned to the chair in front of him.

“Sit down, son.”

Aaron froze. That was new. He only ever called Alexander “son” and he knew that the man both hated and loved it. Hearing it said regarding himself was incredibly strange, and like Hamilton, he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not.

But he walked forward hesitantly, knowing that Washington wouldn’t let him stand, and he did honestly want to keep his job. Slipping into the chair, Aaron stared at his hands, unwilling to look up at his boss who he was sure was glaring holes into him.

However, Washington wasn’t glaring, simply looking at Aaron with soft, pitying eyes

“Why are you here, Mr. Burr?”

“Sir, I’ve been away for weeks, there’s so much to catch up on-”

“I’ve had Alexander handling your case load while you’ve been in the hospital,” he responded, and the bitterness began to creep in again.

Of course Hamilton had been given his work, Washington just couldn’t wait to be rid of him. The man must have noticed Aaron glaring at his hands because he sighed again.

“Mr. Burr, I know how a...traumatic event like the one you’ve gone through can be harmful to your mental health-”

“Sir,” Aaron had to interrupt, he did NOT want to hear this, least of all from Washington, “I just want to do my work.”

“Aaron,” he cringed at the familiarity with which Washington said his name, “I think it would be best if you went home, got some sleep, and came back when you’re feeling more up to it.”

“I’m feeling plenty up to it.” Aaron muttered. 

“Son-”

“Don’t call me son.” he growled, “And I refuse to be sent home simply because  _ Hamilton  _ told you that I should be.”

“Alexander didn’t tell me anything, Mr. Burr. But _ I  _ am telling  _ you _ , go home, get some sleep-”

“I  _ can’t  _ sleep! And I don’t see how it matters anyway. My mental health has never been a concern of yours before.”

Aaron kept his voice level, pushing down the hostility which burned through him. 

“The health of all my employees is important to me, Mr. Burr.” Washington’s voice had gotten low and he was looking at Aaron with very stern eyes. “And as far as I am concerned, yours is considerably lacking. So here’s what’s going to happen. You are going to take a leave of absence until I hear from Alexander to tell me that you are doing better. Do you understand, Mr. Burr?”

“No,” Burr hissed, “I don’t sir. Hamilton doesn’t know shit. I’m fine-”

“Son, you’re not fine-”

“I’m not your son.”

“Watch your tone. I am being very lenient right now because I understand the trauma you are going through. But I cannot put your health at risk by having you here.” 

“To shit with lenience, I am here of my own free will, it is MY choice to come to work. If I decide I want to work myself to death, then I will. I need this, sir.”

“I can’t stop you from working yourself to death, but you sure as hell aren’t doing it in this building.”

“And what about all the times Hamilton works himself to exhaustion!? He’s allowed to continue his work! His cases aren’t pawned off to the highest bidder! Sir, the only reason you’re giving me shit for this is because you don’t want me here in the first place!”

“You’re speaking nonsense-”

“I understand that you don’t like me, sir, but that should NOT be used against me when all I’m trying to do is my job!”

“You are not  _ fit  _ to do your job, and my personal feelings aside, I need you to be at your best!”

“I  _ am  _ at my best, I’m  _ fine- _ ”

“This firm needs you at your best, son, our clients need you at. your. best!”

_ “CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME!” _

Silence.

Aaron was breathing hard, now standing by his chair, glaring accusingly at Washington who, even with his straight and stern face, looked as though he’d been slapped. The fog in Aaron’s mind cleared for a moment as he realized what he’d done. Dropping his glare immedietely, his eyes went to the floor.

“Sir, I-”

“Go home, Aaron. That’s an order.”

Washington had regained his composure and was now staring him down. 

“ _ Sir- _ ”

“Go. Home.”

Pausing only for a moment, Aaron scowled, marching towards the door, throwing it open, and slamming it shut behind him. Around the room, eyes moved furtively back to their work, pretending that they hadn’t just been listening in on the conversation. Hamilton, oh so predictable Hamilton, was at his side in a moment.

“I’m sorry Burr, but I had to. You’ve got to sleep-”

Aaron shook him off, glaring down at him with such fury that Alexander took a step back. 

“What part don’t you understand, Hamilton. I. CAN’T. SLEEP. The most I could have done is work, and now I can’t even do that because of your arrogant, meddlesome, presumptuous idea that you know what’s best for me. I  _ needed  _ to work! It’s all I have! The only thing that could have distracted me enough so that maybe,  _ maybe  _ I’d be able to relax.”

Aaron took a shaky breath, rubbing his eyes roughly with his knuckles, trying to erase the sleep from them. 

“I don’t...I don’t know what else to do.”

Alexander reached out for him, attempting to steady him as he stumbled away. Aaron didn’t want to be touched, didn’t want the pity, he had wanted to work, to distract himself from the nightmares, but now? There was nothing to keep them at bay.

Pushing Hamilton away, Aaron walked out of the room, wavering with each step as he tried to think about what to do next. Going back to his apartment to be alone with his nightmares was worse than it had been in the hospital. And he couldn’t ask the Hamilsquad to stay with him, he just couldn’t. 

When he reached the lobby, and all his anger had burned itself out, he thought through what had happened and mentally kicked himself. Why was he so insistent on making people feel horrible when they were trying to help? Maybe he was better off alone anyway, maybe he deserved his nightmares. He was terrible.

“Hey Aaron!”

The soft voice broke through his self pity like a knife, and he looked up. Standing by her car, a bright smile on her face and keys in her hand stood Elizabeth Schuyler. Aaron blinked, confused at the situation.

“Hello, Ms. Schuyler.” he responded, polite, pulled together, like he hadn’t just had a breakdown at work.

“Please,” she rolled her eyes playfully, “only my kids call me Ms. Schuyler.”

_ That  _ sent him for a loop.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were...um...uh-” she laughed as he stuttered.

“My school kids, Aaron. I’m an elementary school teacher. And just call me Eliza.”

Aaron coughed, “Eliza. If I may ask, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, Alex called me. Asked if I could pick you up.”

His knuckles cracked as he clenched them, his shoulders hunching, and his face turning red with embarrassment.

“You really didn’t have to.” he growled. Eliza waved a flippant hand in the air, moving around the car to get into the driver's seat.

“It’s a pro-day. No school. And honestly, I don’t mind. Besides, Hercules texted me last night and told me your kitchen is amazing.”

Aaron let out a small laugh, moving slowly towards the car. Eliza waved him in from the drivers seat and he sighed. He opened the door and sat down, leaning his head against the window as Eliza pulled away from the curb.

“I’m...sorry to have made you come all this way.”

“You really have it bad, huh?”

Aaron looked at her, confused at her words.

“What do you mean?”

She smiled at him, a smile which made him smile, but only for a moment before he remembered that he was supposed to be angry. She laughed, her voice like silver bells and Aaron let out a breath and felt himself relax against the seat. She reached over, putting a hand on his as she watched the road.

“Don’t worry about it, Aaron. You’ve got me now.”

And somehow, that made it better.

* * *

When they got into the apartment, Eliza raced into the kitchen, flitting around it with a beaming smile, opening each cupboard and drawer and shouting back at Aaron about how wonderful it was and how she needed to break it in.

It was still early, Aaron having been sent away from work at the very start, and now he was left exhausted but not wanted to risk sleep. He sat on his couch, eyes glazing over and hands fidgeting in his lap. 

Eliza turned to tell him what a fantastic toaster he had when she saw him, looking about to pass out, dark rings under his eyes but obviously refusing to close them. She sighed lightly, kicking off her sneakers by the door and going over to the couch. 

She knew the signs of PTSD well, it was the reason she had been discharged so early after her deployment. They had been ambushed at the training base in Iraq, so many had died, most of the soldiers there had been sent home. 

Eliza had come home to people she trusted, Angelica, Peggy, Alexander and the boys, but Aaron didn’t trust easily, even she knew that. She knew what it felt like to have too many people around her, and then all of a sudden, too few. The emotional swings it brought on were unbearable, the nightmares, so bad you were afraid to sleep. Aaron may not have been in a war, but it was all equal in her eyes. 

She walked over to the couch, sitting down next to him gently. He didn’t look at her. She took his hands in hers and laid her head on his shoulder, not saying a word. There was silence, and that was fine. She already knew everything he was thinking, because once, she had been thinking the same things. 

They stayed like that for a while, Aaron feeling a strange connection between himself and this woman he had just met. He didn’t push her away, the feel of her head on his shoulder and her hands in his grounded him, kept him...there. 

“You should sleep,” Eliza said quietly, and before he could protest, she continued, “I’ll stay right here. But you need your rest.”

It sounded like she knew something he didn’t.

“Why?” he asked suspiciously.

Eliza smiled, “I wasn’t the only one Alexander called. Angelica’s coming over later to give you a lecture and an ass whooping.”

Aaron groaned.

Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so more Angelica next chapter, and also soon the virginia boys will be back. I literally love the idea of Eliza having been in the army and then becoming a elementary school teacher b/c it totally shows two sides of this kind but also badass lady! After she feels...ready she may re-enlist but right now she loves being w/ the tiny baby children! And yes, in my story she suffered from PTSD and was honorably discharged and will now help Aaron through it b/c she's amazing. Also she'll give Alex a stern talking to about being overly...you know, clingy. 
> 
> Also, Noah! This one's for you, here's hoping you do great on your History exam!!!!! I know you will!!!!!


	9. Come Away with Us for the Summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me! Updating! Please don't throw rocks! Sorry about the wait though, I was kinda stuck but now I'm semi back on track. :D

Alexander paced in front of his friends, his eyes sad and hands fidgeting at his sides. 

“There was nothing else I could do! I had to send him home, you should have seen him, he looked dead on his feet!”

“I’m sure Eliza handled it, Alex,” Hercules said, taking a sip from his beer, “If anyone can help Aaron, she can.”

“I know,” the smaller man sighed, finally sitting down, “I just wish there was more we could do to help. He shouldn’t be left alone.”

The men all sat in Lafayette’s living room, well, more of a collective living room, since they all lived in the large house together. None of them really knew what to call their situation, but it worked.

“Why don’t we just invite him to stay with us?” John suggested, sitting upside down in the armchair, “For a couple of weeks at least, until we know he’s better.”

“He’d never go for it,” Alex grumbled, “He’d be offended at the very idea.”

“What about Angelica?” Hercules commented suddenly.

“What  _ about  _ Angelica?”

“Well,” he continued, hopping up from his seat, beginning his own pacing as he spoke, “why don’t we talk to her about it? They’re close, and she would know what’s best for him.”

Alex knew it was a good idea, but he couldn’t help feel insulted.

“ _ We _ know what’s best for him!” he cried indignantly.

“Ah, oui petit jambon, but,” Lafayette sauntered in from the kitchen, leaning against the wall, “Aaron  _ listens  _ to  _ her _ .”

* * *

“Aaron Burr, you open this door this instant! I know you’re in there, you little-”

The door to Aaron’s apartment swung open and Angelica was ready to begin her lecture on the importance of sleep for a rational mind, when she blinked.

“Angie, honestly not so loud,” Eliza hissed at her sister, ushering her inside and effectively cutting off her monologue, “I just got him to sleep.”

Looking around the apartment, Angelica’s eyes fell on Aaron’s sleeping form on the couch. She smiled softly, letting her sister take her arm, pulling her into the kitchen where they could talk. Angelica sat at the island, watching as Eliza set Aaron’s kettle on the counter, filling it.

“How is he?” she couldn’t help but ask. 

Eliza left the water to boil, coming to sit next to her sister. She looked over her shoulder, sending Aaron a sad look.

“Not good, Angie. It’s just like when I came home.”

“That bad?” Angelica was shocked. 

When Eliza had come home from her deployment, she’d become undone, jumping at every small noise, unable to sleep, screaming from the nightmares every night. Angelica and Peggy had stayed with her for months, not allowing her to sleep alone. Sometimes it still showed, fireworks, crowds, flashes of light, sometimes it still set her off. 

But she was healing.

Aaron showed very little signs, but Angelica hadn’t been with him too long to tell for sure. Eliza knew more about it all than she did, so she trusted her sister.

“He’s tried to hide it,” Eliza said with a smile, finally seeing what Angelica meant every time she complained about Aaron’s stubbornness. “But he’s hurting more than even  _ he  _ can fully understand.”

“I can’t believe he tried to go back to work.” Angelica sighed tiredly. Not that she expected anything different from her friend. 

“He wants to be distracted. He’s alone here. I had you and Peggy-”

“He’s got us! And the guys!” Angelica defended.

Eliza nodded, humming thoughtfully.

“Everyone handles it differently. Even you said he doesn’t trust easily. That’s why I thought this all may have to do with more than just the attack.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I don’t know.” Eliza got up as the kettle began to whistle, “But whatever it is, we can’t push him. That’ll only make him want to isolate himself.”

Taking two cups from Aaron’s cupboard, Eliza poured the tea, handing a cup to Angelica. 

“Is there anything we can do for him?” she asked, sipping at the drink while keeping an eye on the couch.

“Well, I know I always felt better when I wasn’t alone.”

“But Aaron’s always alone, that’s like, his thing!” she tapped her chin thoughtfully, “and there’s no real place to crash here if anyone stayed the night.”

The two women sat together, sipping their tea and pondering the circumstances of the man on the couch across from them. Then Angelica’s phone let out a shrill ring and she fumbled to answer it before it woke Aaron up.

“Hello?”

Eliza watched her sister talk into the phone, raising an eyebrow at the one sided conversation she was hearing.

“Uh huh? No way, he’d never do it! Well when you put it like that, I guess...sure, come on over. Alright, see you soon.”

“Who was it?” Eliza asked as Angelica put her phone down and took on an expression of deep thought.

“It was Hercules.” she answered, “He made the suggestion that Aaron stay with them at the house for a week or two. Alex is worried about him being alone. They’re coming over to talk about it.”

“That’s not a bad idea. Do you think he’ll go for it?”

Angelica laughed, “Not in your life. But I’ll talk to him. Do you think it’ll help though? Staying with the boys?”

Eliza tapped her chin thoughtfully, looking backwards at Burr asleep on the couch. It would help, no doubt, even if Aaron was against it. Just the constant proximity to other people did wonders. At least, it did for Eliza. Even if Peggy and Angelica had been in different parts of the house, she knew they were there, ready to come running if she needed them.

“I think it would.” she admitted, “Whether he realizes it or not, he needs to be around other people. The boys may not be there at all times of the day, but they will be for the majority of the time. He needs that stability.”

“Yeah, alright.” Angelica stood from her stool, making her way towards Aaron on the couch.

She sat down next to him, looking at his face as he slept. It was a new look for Burr, one she had rarely seen on him. He was relaxed, peaceful, his breathing was steady and his nose twitched suddenly. She smiled, letting a hand rest on the side of his face, gently brushing his eyelids with her thumb.

The man’s eyes fluttered open and he couldn’t help the small smile that worked its way up his lips at the sight of Angelica’s own smile.

“Hey.” he said simply, his voice still shrouded with sleep.

“Hey.” she responded, moving her hand to prop up her chin.

“I’m sorry you had to come out this way.” Aaron sighed, “I don’t know what I was thinking, I was incredibly irresponsible-”

“Aaron, you’re allowed a lapse in judgement. It’s not your fault, Eliza explained how you were feeling.”

Aaron looked away, a look of shame overtaking his face. Angelica took his hand in hers and squeezed, moving her forehead to rest gently against Aaron’s. His breath evened out, and he closed his eyes, the contact steadying him, grounding him.

“Aaron, you know I care about you right? That I only want the best for you?”

“Of course.” he was watching her curiously.

She opened her mouth, then closed it, looking up at him with another small smile.

“You want something to eat?” she asked finally.

“No, no thank you Angelica. I’m not...I’m not hungry.” 

He expected some kind of protest from her but Angelica only nodded, standing up and beckoning him towards the kitchen. Aaron got up, following her and finally sitting on a stool at the table across from Eliza, who smiled at him as well. He suddenly found a mug of tea placed before him as the older Schuyler continued to shuffle around the kitchen, not meeting his eye.

“I’m sorry Alexander called you for nothing.”

“He didn’t call me for nothing.” Angelica said, almost as a reprimand as she sat facing him, a stern look on her face, “I told you to call me a week ago while you were still in the hospital. This is the first I’ve heard about anything concerning you and I heard it from Alexander!”

“I-” Aaron stuttered, unsure of what to say since there wasn’t much to say anyway. He had no excuse. Angelica sighed.

“You’re not doing well, Aaron.” she held up a hand to silence him as he took on an indignant look, “You’re body may be healing but that’s only part of it, you know that. You literally left the hospital  _ yesterday  _ and you go to work the day after? Aaron you’re not that stupid.”

But Aaron  _ was _ , and the thought made him fidget with the cup in front of him. 

“As long as I’ve known you, you’ve always been the first to bring up the importance of mental health, of proper sleep and rest. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten all that.”

“I haven’t. I just...needed  _ something _ .”

“A distraction, I know.” Angelica eyed her sister with an almost nervous look. “That’s why I think it’d be good for you...to stay with the boys for a week or two, get out of this apartment, be around other people, it’ll be good-”

“No! No way!” Aaron was up and out of the stool in a moment. Not really having anywhere to go, he settled for pacing.

Angelica sighed, scowling at her friend.

“Aaron, you  _ know  _ being alone right now is only going to hurt you!”

“I don’t need babysitters!”

“They’re not, Aaron! They’re your friends! You need someone to be there for you!”

“I don’t! Everything’s fine, I don’t need to be passed around like a child!”

Angelica moaned, turning to her sister with pleading eyes. Eliza fought back the smile that tried to make it’s way onto her face, instead fixing Burr with a calm look that made him deflate altogether. Angelica watched with a smirk.

“Aaron, listen to me. Having people around you during this isn’t a weakness. It’s being alone that’s going to damage you. When I came back, the only way I  _ survived  _ the nights was by knowing that my sisters were in the house with me. They weren’t my babysitters, but they were there when I needed them.”

Aaron’s face grew hot and he scratched at the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I didn’t mean to-”

Eliza was standing now, right in front of Burr, her eyes hard and hands on his shoulders. She brought him in close, whispering to him.

“There’ll be nights, Aaron. Nights when you’re so lost in nightmares that you won’t be able to wake up without someone’s help. And when you wake up, you won’t know where you are. There’ll be mornings when you’ll feel like starving yourself is the best option and if you are alone, I promise you, you won’t make it. Please. Trust me. You don’t have to like it, but this is what you need.”

Aaron looked taken aback, Angelica looked impressed and a little sad, and Eliza’s serious face never wavered. From where she sat, the oldest Schuyler swore she saw Aaron’s lip quiver before he blinked rapidly, looking away and down at his feet.

Little did they know that Aaron already knew all this. He knew what the nights were like, what the bad days had in store for him, he’d been through it all before. And Eliza was right, there would have been no way that he would have made it to where he was now had he done it alone. 

He’d had James and Thomas, and that had made all the difference.

“Okay,” he breathed out, resigned, “alright.”

“Good.” Eliza replied.

“But I  _ won’t  _ like it!” he grumbled after a moment.

And with that, Aaron grabbed his tea from the table and sulked all the way to his bedroom, closing the door gently behind him.

“That went better than I thought it would.” Angelica remarked and Eliza only shrugged.

Finally, there was a soft knock at the door and Angelica answered, opening it wide and greeting the hamilsquad as they entered. Each boy gave her a fierce hug before moving to Eliza and doing the same.

“Thanks for helping out, Eliza.” Alexander said shyly, not meeting her eyes. Eliza only smiled.

“It’s no problem, I’m happy to help.”

“So,” Hercules started, taking a seat at the island, “did you talk to him?”

Both women nodded. “He agreed to it.”

“What, really!?” Laurens all but shouted, doing a little jump of excitement, “How the hell did you convince him!?”

“We just talked.” Eliza answered, “He doesn’t like it, but he understands it’s for the best.”

“Where is he?” Lafayette wondered, gazing around at the apartment in search of Aaron.

“In the bedroom, probably moping.” Angelica laughed.

_ “I’m not moping!”  _ came a muffled shout from behind Burr’s bedroom door.

“BURR!” Laurens’ shout startled them all as the young man raced across the apartment and into the bedroom.

They heard a shout and a thud from inside and Alex grinned when he peeked into the room. John was lying on top of Aaron, effectively trapping him as the other man struggled beneath him. 

“It’s gonna be great Burr! You can come to my classes, and we can all have movie nights, and I can show you my cacti, and we’ll finally have someone to be the tiebreaker!” 

“John, as much as I appreciate your excitement, you’re lying right on the wound.”

With a mumbled  _ oh shit _ , John leapt off Aaron, who hissed only slightly, moving to sit up on the bed. He looked up, meeting Alexander’s eye before looking away, running a hand over his side. Alex stepped into the room, leaning against the wall.

“Listen Aaron, I’m sorry about this morning. I just...I was only trying to help, but I know what I think is helpful and what other people think is helpful isn’t always the same thing, but I stand by what I said! You looked awful and needed to go home, but I admit it could have been handled better, but you didn’t make it any easier, so it isn’t just my fault-”

“Alexander.” Aaron held up a hand and the shorter man fell silent, “It’s alright, there’s nothing to apologize for. You were right, I should have listened to you.”

Alexander squinted at Aaron, looking from him to Laurens before saying,

“Could you repeat that, I don’t think I heard you?”

“Alexander-” Aaron groaned.

“Aaron Burr, admitting that I, Alexander Hamilton, was right! Oh what a joyous occasion!”

“Please-”

“Hey guys did you hear what Burr said!? He said  _ I  _ was  _ right! _ ”

“Oh what a wondrous affair,” Hercules’ voice drifted into the room over the other’s laughter, “oh day of days!”

“If this is what it’s going to be like 24/7, I take it back. I’ll stay here thanks.” 

“Too late now, mon râleur,” Lafayette grinned from behind Alex in the doorway, “you shall be coming home with us whether you like it or not.”

“What did you call me?” Aaron asked curiously, moving to get off the bed and waving away the hand Laurens’ offered him.

“A complainer.” the frenchman said with a finality, “Now, shall we get you packed?”

“I can pack myself, thank you very much.”

“Did I hear something about packing?” Hercules materialised into the bedroom, “I call folding!”

“Herc can fold anything.” John explained, moving towards Aaron’s closet.

“Now wait just a second,” the frustrated man warned, “Angelica! Eliza!”

“Sorry Aaron, we should be going,” Angelica laughed, waving to him, “Eliza’s number is on the table, and you have mine. Call if you need us!”

“Wait,” he cried, running out of the room and following them to the door desperately, “don’t leave me with them!”

“Bye!”

And the door slammed shut behind them. Aaron shoulders slumped visibly and he held in a groan as he listened to the four men going through his things. His eyes caught the small piece of paper on the table with a series of numbers written on it. Underneath it said,

_ For if you need to talk. I’m always here ~Eliza _

He couldn’t help but smile as he took it and placed it in his pocket. The smile immediately dropped Hercules popped his head around the corner.

“No offense Burr, but you’re taste in clothing is terrible.”


	10. A Cactus Named Aaron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter in which not much happens, the boys are only slightly gay for Burr, there is a cactus named Aaron, and we end with a new hope.

After a flurry of clothes and a heaving of suitcases, Aaron found himself being unceremoniously shoved into the backseat of John’s car, squished between the window and Alexander while Lafayette took the other side and Hercules took shotgun. Aaron grumbled, leaning as far from Alexander as possible,

“You’ll love it, Aaron,” Alexander said, practically bouncing in his seat, “the house is huge! There’s more than enough room for you and your ego.”

“If anyone needs room for his ego, it’s you, Hamilton.” Aaron murmured, his lips quirking as the boys laughed and Alexander huffed.

They pulled away from the apartment complex, and Aaron watched, a tight feeling in the pit of his stomach, as his home slowly left his view. With a sigh, he rested his head against the window of the car, half listening to the squad’s conversation and the low sound of the radio in the background.

All of a sudden, a feeling of deja vu washed over him. Memories of a younger, much smaller Aaron, suitcase in hand, running from his problems, just as he was now, always imposing, making life so much harder for his friends, for the people who cared about him. Why couldn’t he just be normal!? Get over it!? 

He wouldn’t admit it, but he was afraid. Not really of anything in particular, but his heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest. His life had been going so well, too. He hadn’t heard from his family in years, had a good job, was well off.

This wasn’t fair.

He watched the streets go by in a blur, sighing to himself. He was still tired after the sleepless night he had gotten previously, so with the low murmur of voices filling his ears like a natural melody, Aaron drifted off to sleep, his head against the window.

The boys stopped talking mid way to the house to watch Burr, asleep and snoring softly. Alexander moved him gently to his side when the car started going over potholes, so his head wouldn’t crack against the window. Unknowingly, and still asleep, Aaron leaned his head on Hamilton’s shoulder, who grinned, putting an arm around him to keep him in place.

* * *

 

The house wasn’t too far as it turned out, hidden just outside the city. Aaron blinked as he was shaken awake, surprised to find that he was leaning against Alexander’s shoulder with the man smiling gently down at him.

“Hey, we’re here, Aaron.”

“Yeah c’mon Burr! My cacti can’t wait forever!” John called as he slammed the driver side door shut, effectively waking up Aaron entirely.

Aaron hummed in response, letting out a yawn before following Alexander out of the car. He blinked as he stepped out, the sun having dimmed considerably. Coming around the car, Aaron quirked an eyebrow at the house before him.

Well, house wasn’t exactly the word for it.

Memories of Monticello flooded back to him as he took in the mansion. It was elegant, regal, very Lafayette, with a finely manicured lawn surrounding it. How the frenchman managed to keep the other three from tearing up the place came as a mystery to Aaron. Still staring at the manor, he followed Hercules, who popped the trunk and took out the suitcases. 

He followed the four men up the stone pathway leading to the house, all the while admiring the architecture, the stone pillars, and the beautifully carved gargoyles atop the roof. It practically screamed French Aristocracy.

“How do you maintain it all?” he asked in wonder, staring back at the carefully cut lawn, the precisely pruned flower beds and the sculpted hedges.

“He has a staff who come around about once a month to take care of everything.” Hercules said, amused at how thrown Aaron was at the whole thing. “Plus we all help around too, makes everyone’s job easier.”

“That and none of us are used to having everything done  _ for  _ us.” Alexander called back, looking pointedly at Lafayette who simply waved his hand dismissively as he unlocked the door.

Stepping into the house was a whole other experience. Aaron’s shoes clicked against marble floors, a grand staircase at the end of the foyer leading up and separating to the right and left, and high ceilings with a chandelier hanging above them. He set his case down gently on the floor, looking around with awe.

Monticello had always felt like home to him, warm colours, hardwood floors. But this...Aaron was afraid if he so much as moved, he’d break something, even though there was nothing in the immediate vicinity to break. 

The sound of the door closing behind him brought him back and he looked sheepishly down at the floor. 

“It’s a lot, isn’t it?” John asked, coming up beside him and throwing an arm around his shoulders, “Alex almost threw up when he first came to live here.”

“You know my view on money, Laurens.” Alexander said coming up on Aaron’s other side and sending a playful glare at the other man before looking back at Aaron, “Laf’s parents left him with an inheritance so huge he could literally buy out the United States. He hasn’t had to work for any of it! Now me, I keep telling these guys, if you really want some bread, you go ahead and create a set of goals and cross ‘em off the list as you pursue ‘em-”

“Ah work is overrated.” Lafayette called over to them from where he was taking off his shoes at the doorway, “Shoes, however, are not. You know the rules Alexander.”

“Yeah yeah,” Alex sulked over to where Hercules and Lafayette stood, kicking off his shoes and ignoring the sigh from the frenchman as his sneakers banged against the wall.

Aaron, following their lead, crouched down and removed his own shoes, picking them up and setting them neatly by Hercules’. Lafayette smiled.

“I see we’ll have at least  _ one  _ person in this house who can be tidy.”

“Hey!” Hercules said indignantly. 

“Don’t think I didn’t see the kitchen yesterday when you were done with it.”

Aaron couldn’t help smiling, feeling himself easing into the familiar dynamic between all of them. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, living with them. At least for a while.

“Normal roommate rules apply here, Aaron.” Herc said, removing his jacket and hanging it on the coatrack by the door, “No loud music past 10:00, you wanna bring someone home, you call or text first, clean up after yourself, and all that. Pretty simple.”

“Yeah, and no country music.” Alexander said with a pointed look at John. 

Aaron let his lips twitch up into a smile, oblivious to the wary and cautious looks his friends were giving him, gauging his reaction to it all. 

“I- I don’t- *ahem*” he coughed awkwardly, looking back down at the floor.

“He hates it.” Laurens said, sounding a little disappointed. Alexander shushed him.

“He’s forming an enlightened opinion.”

“You really didn’t have to do this, you know.” Aaron said, his voice quiet, the nagging feeling that he was imposing still at the back of his mind.

“Yeah,” Hercules said, coming up to stand in front of him, a large smile on his face, “but we wanted to. It’s gonna be fun, Aaron, trust us. You do trust us, right?”

“.... _ sliiiiiightly? _ ”

“That’s good enough. C’mon, we’ll show you the guest room.”

Picking up his bag again, Aaron followed the four men through the house, listening intently as Lafayette explained this and that about the architecture, the décor, even paint colors he had chosen. Hercules, Alex, and John all groaned whenever he began to point out facts, but Aaron found it all fascinating, and hung on every word.

Finally, they reached a large room with a beautifully made canopy bed and a window overlooking the yard. Aaron didn’t enter immediately, hovering at the door, a lump in his throat.

“We picked it out so that you’re closer to our rooms.” John said with a grin, pointing down the hall to the rooms beside Aaron’s.

“It’s lovely.” Aaron said simply, but the slight shake in his voice wasn’t missed by his new housemates.

“Aaron, it’s gonna be fine.” John said, putting his hands on Aaron’s shoulders, “Promise. Everything’s gonna be alright. We’re gonna have so much fun, and we’ll make  _ you  _ do the dishes-”

“John!”

“And Laf will even get you a frilly apron.  _ OH! _ Or you could wear one of your suits and answer the door and people will think we have a butler!”

“I would not be averse to having a butler.” Lafayette shrugged, grinning at Aaron who was now smirking.

“I’d have to get more than minimum wage.” he said, huffing a laugh.

“Oh well, forget that then.” Laurens sniffed haughtily, “Sorry, Burr. I’m afraid we simply can’t afford you.”

“Damn, and I was so looking forward to doing your laundry, John.”

“Would that include my thongs?”

They all laughed and Aaron felt the tightness in his chest settle and loosen. This was good, this was normal. He took a small step, entering the room and breathing deeply. It really was a lovely room, the light of the setting sun shining on the white painted walls, and a large armchair in the corner, beside which was a small side table.

Lafayette’s hand suddenly rested heavily on Aaron’s shoulder.

“Perhaps we should give our Burr some time to get settled.”

And just like that he was alone again. No, not alone, his friends were still there, just down the hall. They’d assured him of that, told him to come to them when he’d finished unpacking. Aaron removed his shirt; he was still wearing what he had worn to work that morning, and threw it on the bed before heaving his suitcase onto the bed as well. 

As he took out his clothes, placing them neatly on the sheets in piles ready to be put away, his thoughts went to the last time he had done this. He’d been significantly younger, but the reasons were very similar. 

He was hurting and needed help.

It couldn’t be coincidence that the universe kept placing him in these situations, forcing him to seek help when he’d otherwise handle it himself. Maybe someone was trying to tell him something, but Aaron quickly shook that thought from his mind.

Once all his things were placed on the bed, he got to putting them away, placing them in the chest of drawers across the room. When that was done, he quickly changed into his sweatpants, as the sun had fully set, and folded his worn clothes, putting them to the side to put in the laundry later.

Then something caught his eye and he blinked, surprised. A small potted cactus sat on his windowsill, three full pink flowers blooming from it, and a little sign sticking out of the soil.

_ Aaron _

it said in the blocky handwriting he knew to be Laurens’. A laugh bubbled up through his lips as his fingers lightly traced the petals of the flowers. 

“Hey Aaron! What’s taking so long!?”

Rolling his eyes, Aaron grabbed a tank top from the drawer and pulled it on, turning off the light of the bedroom and shutting the door behind him. Padding through the hallway, the carpeted floor tickling his bare feet, Aaron found himself cringing, only slightly, as the pain in his side flared up.

_ I really needed to change the bandages, _ he thought to himself, as he skipped down the steps into the foyer, looking into the sitting room for his friends. Quirking an eyebrow when he saw they weren’t there, Aaron began to wonder, calling out as he did so.

“I’m really not up for playing hide and seek, you know.” 

“We’re in the bathroom!” Alexander’s voice rang out and Aaron raised an eyebrow, heading in the direction of the master bathroom.

“Is that like a normal thing? Everyone just hanging out in the bathroom together?”

He peaked around the corner of the room, scowling when he saw John standing by the counter, first aid kit in hand. The others sat on the edge of the bathtub, laughing and trying to jostle each other into the empty tub.

Laurens patted the counter.

“Hop up, Aaron. Those bandages need to be changed.”

“I can do it myself.” he sighed, but entered the bathroom anyway.

“Yeah, but it’s better if I do it, I am trained in this stuff you know. It would only be logical.”

Aaron smirked, hopping up on the bathroom counter and taking off the shirt carefully.

“I’m not Spock, Laurens. You don’t need to throw logic at me to get me to agree. And you only do this with animals so get off your high horse. No pun intended.”

When he took off his shirt, the four other men paused, eyes wide and mouths slightly agape. Aaron felt a blush creep up his neck, staring down at himself and the ugly scar that marred his side. He should have done it himself, he was just making them uncomfortable now. He moved to put the shirt back on when Alex’s hand shot out.

“What’re you doing?” Aaron thought it strange that he sounded a little disappointed. The man shifted uneasily in his spot on the counter.

“I can do it myself.”

“No man,” Hercules interjected, a grin on his face, “It’s just….well, you’re  _ fit _ .”

Aaron’s eyebrow rose slowly in a questioning look.

“You’re hot, Aaron!”

“..... _ oh my god. _ ” 

Aaron groaned as the room filled with laughter. John got him to take off his shirt again and as he busied himself with Aaron’s bandages, Aaron glared at the three smirking men over his shoulder. He didn’t miss their eyes wandering over his chest and abs. 

When John was finished, he patted Aaron’s leg.

“All set. We’ll do it again tomorrow morning and in the evening.”

“Thanks Laurens. I appreciate it.”

“Looks like frigid Burr’s warming up to you John,” Alexander grinned, “but you know the rules. No strays allowed.”

Aaron hopped down from the counter, waving his hand dismissively as John fixed Hamilton with an exasperated look. 

“It was  _ your  _ idea to bring him here!”

“Semantics.” Hamilton replied with a sly smile.

“Don’t worry, Laurens,” Aaron leaned against the counter, folding his arms over his still bare chest, “Alexander is just jealous of our love.”

John, Hercules, and Lafayette all let out roars of laughter and the tips of Alex’s ears went pink as he scowled. With a satisfied smirk, Aaron pulled his shirt back on carefully, yawning and stretching slowly.

“You’re not still tired, are you Aaron?” Lafayette asked, somewhat aghast at Aaron’s ability to be perpetually tired, “You’ve slept all day!”

“Yes but not well.” Aaron countered, giving the man a smile. That seemed to ease the frenchman somewhat, “I’m afraid I’ll have to bid you all a goodnight, if that’s okay.”

“No way!” Alexander pouted, “We were just about to start a Star Wars marathon!”

“Let the man be, Alex.” Hercules shook his head, “Aaron, go get some sleep. And call us if you need us.”

“Thank you.” he said meaningfully. “For all of this.”

“It’s our pleasure.” the sincerity in Mulligan’s voice made Aaron’s heart clench slightly and he thought about it all the way back to his room.

* * *

 

The boys were just starting A New Hope when they heard shuffling by the door of the living room. Heads snapped towards the noise and looks of surprise gave way to soft smiles. 

Aaron stood in the doorway, pajamas wrinkled from sleep, and eyes still bleary. He looked like a schoolboy, anxious and self conscious, hands curling around the hem of his shirt.

“Couldn’t sleep?” John asked from under his blanket hood.

Even though Aaron didn’t answer, they all knew. Alex patted the spot next to him on the floor and waved Aaron in. Slowly, he entered, taking tentative steps before finally sitting carefully on the carpet.

A large quilt was draped over him and he was gently pulled back to settle between Hercules’ legs, leaning against the couch, facing the television. He sighed, comfortable as he settled back, content as the boys started the movie. 

He always liked the originals better.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dying whale noises*

**Author's Note:**

> If you have requests or just wanna talk, hit me up @hamilanne


End file.
